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Friday, October 01, 2004

Da Bate

I don't know about you, but I bopped out of bed this morning and strolled jauntily to work. I gave my coworkers a sunny smile and tipped my hat to old ladies I saw on the way home. I came this fucking close to spinning around a lamp post. This is in part because it's Friday and I have two whole days without having to fucking teach. But mostly it's because I watched television last night from 9:00 to 10:30.

Before the debate started, I was earnestly hoping that Bush might stop in the middle of responding to a question, leap into the audience and start raping a goat on national television. I just didn't want him to win. Fortunately, even without the spontaneous goat-fucking, Kerry kicked Bush's ass.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm biased. Maybe my feelings about the debate are based in part on my seeing what I wanted to. But I think that anyone, viewing the debate objectively, would say that Kerry came off far, far stronger than Sir Blinks-a-lot. Yeah, yeah, there're plenty of stormtroopers on Fox who'll throw up some desperate spin, like the woman--this is why I'm not a journalist, because I didn't pay the least bit of attention to her name--who said that Bush seemed like "...the average guy who's facing the prosecutor. The prosecutor just keeps hammering away and you can't help but feel sympathy for the average guy and admire him." Y'know, she's right. I admire the living hell out of a guy who whines the phrase "It's hard work" eleven times. "It's hard work being president. I need nappy time."

Kerry looked nervous at first. I couldn't sit still because I was so scared he'd fuck up. I bounced all around my living room the same way I do when the Indians bullpen loads the bases in the ninth inning and I just know they're going to piss away a two-point lead and bumble themselves out of the post-season. If you'll forgive the extended sports metaphor. I know Kerry did a great job because he eventually got me to sit down. Not only was I sitting down, but I was clapping and "yeah"ing and generally shouting my joy to the heavens every time Kerry calmly, clearly and--relatively--concisely threw Bush's jabs back with interest.

Time after time, Bush tried to go on the offensive about Kerry's senate votes or position changes or policy statement. And time after time, Kerry pulled the rug out from under him with well-delivered facts. Every time Bush came out with some sorry fucking line about how he shouldn't be tossed out of office because the war on terrorism depends on consistency and not sending terrorists or our allies the wrong message, Kerry was right there talking about the big "fuck you" message the president has given to most of the world since September 11th.

Kerry did so well that I stopped worrying about what he was going to say and just sat back to enjoy how awful Bush looked. Again and again I heard him lamely throwing up the same phrases over and over, not in the effective talking points kind of way, but in a way more akin to Wile E. Coyote holding a tiny umbrella up to save himself from a tumbling boulder. There were a number of times Bush waved to Jim Lehrer like a kindergartener seeking permission to go pee, gaining an additional thirty seconds to make his point, only to pause lamely, stammer out a couple of uh's and then repeat one of his hip catch phrases. There was a point during one of the last questions about, I think, Korea-- and it's possible that I misheard him--where he seemed to go blank for a second, looked down at whatever confused notes he had and then started talking again about Iraq. Did I just miss his transition there?

Then there was the beautiful blinkfest that was his closing remarks. The man appeared to be in a waking REM cycle. He looked like he was trying desperately to fan a tiny bonfire three centimeters in front of his eyes. This on top of how incredibly slouched over he looked all night. He seemed to be so ashamed of his neck that he wanted it to go away. Maybe he had a hickey.

But our man John looked pretty good last night. Wesley Clark hit it, I think, right on the spot when he said that there are probably people who, before the debate, were just desperately voting against Bush who might now feel that they can vote for Kerry.

One down, an election to go.

posted by Joe # 5:23 PM

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Friday, October 01, 2004

Da Bate

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		Friday, October 01, 2004 Da Bate I don't know about you, but I bopped out of bed this morning and strolled jauntily to work. I gave my coworkers a sunny smile and tipped my hat to old ladies I saw on the way home. I came this fucking close to spinning around a lamp post. This is in part because it's Friday and I have two whole days without having to fucking teach. But mostly it's because I watched television last night from 9:00 to 10:30. Before the debate started, I was earnestly hoping that Bush might stop in the middle of responding to a question, leap into the audience and start raping a goat on national television. I just didn't want him to win. Fortunately, even without the spontaneous goat-fucking, Kerry kicked Bush's ass. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm biased. Maybe my feelings about the debate are based in part on my seeing what I wanted to. But I think that anyone, viewing the debate objectively, would say that Kerry came off far, far stronger than Sir Blinks-a-lot. Yeah, yeah, there're plenty of stormtroopers on Fox who'll throw up some desperate spin, like the woman--this is why I'm not a journalist, because I didn't pay the least bit of attention to her name--who said that Bush seemed like "...the average guy who's facing the prosecutor. The prosecutor just keeps hammering away and you can't help but feel sympathy for the average guy and admire him." Y'know, she's right. I admire the living hell out of a guy who whines the phrase "It's hard work" eleven times. "It's hard work being president. I need nappy time." Kerry looked nervous at first. I couldn't sit still because I was so scared he'd fuck up. I bounced all around my living room the same way I do when the Indians bullpen loads the bases in the ninth inning and I just know they're going to piss away a two-point lead and bumble themselves out of the post-season. If you'll forgive the extended sports metaphor. I know Kerry did a great job because he eventually got me to sit down. Not only was I sitting down, but I was clapping and "yeah"ing and generally shouting my joy to the heavens every time Kerry calmly, clearly and--relatively--concisely threw Bush's jabs back with interest. Time after time, Bush tried to go on the offensive about Kerry's senate votes or position changes or policy statement. And time after time, Kerry pulled the rug out from under him with well-delivered facts. Every time Bush came out with some sorry fucking line about how he shouldn't be tossed out of office because the war on terrorism depends on consistency and not sending terrorists or our allies the wrong message, Kerry was right there talking about the big "fuck you" message the president has given to most of the world since September 11th. Kerry did so well that I stopped worrying about what he was going to say and just sat back to enjoy how awful Bush looked. Again and again I heard him lamely throwing up the same phrases over and over, not in the effective talking points kind of way, but in a way more akin to Wile E. Coyote holding a tiny umbrella up to save himself from a tumbling boulder. There were a number of times Bush waved to Jim Lehrer like a kindergartener seeking permission to go pee, gaining an additional thirty seconds to make his point, only to pause lamely, stammer out a couple of uh's and then repeat one of his hip catch phrases. There was a point during one of the last questions about, I think, Korea-- and it's possible that I misheard him--where he seemed to go blank for a second, looked down at whatever confused notes he had and then started talking again about Iraq. Did I just miss his transition there? Then there was the beautiful blinkfest that was his closing remarks. The man appeared to be in a waking REM cycle. He looked like he was trying desperately to fan a tiny bonfire three centimeters in front of his eyes. This on top of how incredibly slouched over he looked all night. He seemed to be so ashamed of his neck that he wanted it to go away. Maybe he had a hickey. But our man John looked pretty good last night. Wesley Clark hit it, I think, right on the spot when he said that there are probably people who, before the debate, were just desperately voting against Bush who might now feel that they can vote for Kerry. One down, an election to go. posted by Joe # 5:23 PM Comments: Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011