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Friday, April 22, 2005

 

In a Handbasket

Ever watch The Omen? There were actually three of 'em. I remember them pretty well, which is odd, because I was a cowardly kid and I tended to not watch a lot of scary movies unless I had the Mad Magazine parody with me so I could read ahead and know what to expect and also to make sure I didn't take it too seriously. Anyway, the first one you probably know, because that's the one everyone saw, with the creepy, suicidal nanny and all. The second one had the kid at a boarding school, because that's pretty evil. That one had a guy getting done in by a ruptured elevator cable. The third one, though, is the one that's on my mind lately. In the third one, Damien is grown up to become Sam Neill. Damien is a politician of some sort and he manipulates things to become President of the United States, thus ensuring a dark, dark age of evil.

This one is the one that I've been thinking about because I take a look around me lately and I think, "Hey...Bush sort of looks like Sam Neill. Logically, there's no fucking way he should be in the White House, so I guess his being Satan would explain things." Which means that we're living right now in that age of evil that 20th Century Fox predicted so long ago.

Consider this:
  • Mary Kay Letourneau is marrying the kid she raped...on TV.
  • The new Pope was in the Nazi Youth.
  • The highest grossing movie last week starred Ryan Reynolds. You know: Van Wilder?
  • The Virgin Mary has now been reduced to appearing on freeways and soiled bed linen.
  • Britney Spears is reproducing.
  • Japan and China have come perilously close to conflict this month...over a textbook.
  • Rosie O'Donnell is playing Andie MacDowell's retarded sister in a TV Movie.
I don't know about you all, but this is sounding a lot like End Times to me. Sure, it's maybe not playing out exactly as the NBC mini-series told us it would, but it seems to me the writing is on the wall. Right next to the salt-n-grime image of Mary.

 

 
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