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Saturday, May 07, 2005

 

Goat-Humping Scumbags

My wife and I just went to see the documentary Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room and we found it beyond disturbing. I haven't been that pissed off coming out of a movie since I found out half-way through Elektra that there would be no Affleck.

These fuckers screwed over every non-executive employee in their company, all of their investors and the entire state of California. And everyone involved--the banks, the accountants, everyone--just went along with it, asking no questions as long as they were able to put millions of dollars in their own pockets.

To paraphrase a friend of mine, the military industrial complex in this country needs to be brought low. We need absolute and complete transparency in our corporations. We need to hold these douschebags accountable for every goddamn sleazy move they make. We need to know when they're chasing profit at the expense of the public interest.

This is why I'm proposing a bold new initiative. I want to have a microscopic camera surgically implanted into the nose of every CEO of every corporation out there. I want everything these shitbuckets do recorded. If you get a job running Citibank, bam! camera in your nose. If you get a big promotion and you're now in charge of the North American operations for Exxon-Mobile, boom! camera in your nose. We need to know what these turdloafs are up to at all times.

What's that? Invasion of privacy? Why should they consent to the taping of everything from their morning lemon poppy-seed muffin to the handjob they get from their executive assistant? Because these sheep-diddlers are getting obscenely fucking wealthy off the blood of the rest of us. And apparently, they've got all the morals God gave a kumquat, so maybe they'll stay a little more in line when there's a danger that any slightly scumbuckety thing they do will be aired live on CNN.

Nosecameras: They'll keep businessmen honest.

Comments:
I think that the cameras would short out from all of the coke they do.
 
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