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Tuesday, February 03, 2015


Mockingbird II: The Quickening

Harper Lee is publishing a follow-up to To Kill a Mockingbird (which is not exactly a follow-up, as it was written prior to that book.) Everyone in the universe is super-excited. With good reason! 88 years old and Lee has never before risked a sophomore effort. You have to imagine she wouldn't have decided to put this out there unless it was really good.

I have to say, however, that she's not doing herself any favors with that odd title. Go Set a Watchmen. Huh. Does not make a lot of sense to me. I think she kind of missed the boat here. It's not too late. The book doesn't come out for months; she can still re-think that title.

You have a genuine American Classic to build off of, why not take advantage? You want something that throws the first book in the reader's face; something that clubs them over the head with the fact that this is another book about Scout, who they goddamn LOVED in the original. 

Here, then, to help Ms. Lee, is a list of titles I think might grab the reading public a little more firmly by the balls:

  • To Kill Another Mockingbird
  • To Kill a Mockingbird II: Mock Harder
  • To Kill a Mockingbird II: Scout's Honor
  • To Kill a Mockingbird II: Atticus Attacks
  • To Kill a Mockingbird II: Revenge of Boo Radley
  • To Kill a Mockingjay (brings in the YA crowd with one simple change)
  • To Kill a Pelican
  • To Kill a Penguin
  • To Kill a Myna Bird
  • To Kill a Motherfucker (kind of a hard-R version)
  • To Kill a Mockingbird and Then Go After His Family
  • 2 Kill a Mockingbird
  • 2 Mockingbirds, 2 Furious
  • To Text a Mockingbird
  • To Tweet a Mockingbird
  • To PM a Mockingbird for Details
  • To List a Mockingbird on Craigslist
  • To Mock a Killingbird
  • To Bird a Killingmock
  • Mock Bird a Killingto
  • To Blah a Blahblahbird
  • Tyler Perry's To Kill a Mockingbird
  • To Kill a Small-Batch, Artisinal Mockingbird (would allow her to charge more)
  • To Kill a Mockingbird II: There, I Did It; Now Will You Vultures Stop Pestering Me!?!
  • To Kill a Mockingbird II: Get off of My Lawn! (the woman is 88)
Ms. Lee, you are welcome!

Photo by Chip Somodevilla

I love it!


Or...Wes Craven's Scout Vs. Jem
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