HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004Conventionally Lame
Can't write much right now, but I just wanted to ask if any of you saw/heard anything from the speeches at the RNC last night. I think I may have a problem with my hearing. I really need to get it checked out. I'm worried, because it seems to me like I heard Laura Bush say that her husband was some kind of champion of stem cell research. It must be a problem with my ears, because I know that nobody, nobody would be so bald-faced as to assert that a man who, with the collective penis of the conservative Christians firmly in his mouth, affirmed his commitment to the pro-life movement by limiting stem-cell research to a handful of already-existing lines, not all of which are even viable, as to assert that this man has aided the cause of stem-cell research. I guess you could say this is true in the same way that Stalin helped dissidents by giving them plenty of time to themselves in which to gather their thoughts.
And Schwarzenegger? What the fuck was that? He delivered the most ham-handed stand-up routine since Tom Hanks' breakdown scene in Punchline. Apparently, though, I saw an edited version of the speech that left out all the wonderful, thoughtful, effective things that the press saw. I guess the cutting-room floor is littered with keen political insights, 'cause all I saw was a series of movie-reference sound-bites that the lamest Academy Award presenter would've walked off the stage before reading off a cue card. On a more positive note, the Wife and I, as I've written before, had a wonderful time in Europe, particularly Paris. We're very happy that we loved it so much, because we will be packing up our things and moving there if that frat-boy fuckhead wins. I'm going to go now and attempt to drown my despair in either vodka or Ben & Jerry's, whichever I get my hands on first. *Quick plug: Disgruntled Bit-Players will be performing a reading of our new piece, The Lefty Show, as part of The UnConvention, Thursday night at 11PM in the Loft Theatre at Barrow Group Space, 312 W. 36th Street in Manhattan's Fashion District. It's funny, it's free, you should come.*
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