Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, April 07, 2005


Checks and Balances My Ass!

What the hell is this country comin' to? Sweet weeping Jesus on a steamroller! How can the great legislators of this great, great land get anything done with all of these activist judges mucking up the works with their activist opinions, gettin' all activisty? Courageous Republicans in congress and the Bush administration are trying to do important things. Last November, they got an overwhelming mandate from the nearly 51% of the American public who voted for them and they've been doing their darndest ever since to spend that political capital.

But no! Every time they get a good head of steam going and get close to passing some legislation that'll have some actual impact on the godless, sinning evildoers in this country, some Ivy League scumbag judge has to go and say that it's "unconstitutional".

First off, how the hell do they know what's constitutional? Who made them the big experts on the constitution? What's that you say? They were appointed specifically to interpret the constitution? Well, I call bullshit. There's no reason to assume that some pampered "legal scholar" sitting on his fancy cushioned chair in his fancy judges office knows any more about the constitution than the guy that sells me my ammunition. Actually, the guy that sells me my ammunition knows all about the constitution. He showed me the part where the founding fathers guaranteed me the right to buy armor-piercing bullets for my sub-machine gun. Why can't we get more guys like him on the bench?

I'll tell you why! Because the L-I-B-E-R-A-L-S in congress are trying to destroy this country by blocking the confirmation of President Bush's judicial nominees. Yeah, sure, those scummy bastards will point out that they've already confirm 95% of Bush's nominees, but what they don't tell you is that all the really good ones are in that last 5%. Man, when that fornicator Bill Clinton was in office, the fine, upstanding Republicans in the Senate didn't mess with any of his nominees. This is all part of the sour grapes those hippies have because John "Oo! I've Got A Boo-Boo, Can I Have A Purple Heart?" Kerry didn't win last fall.

So now, with all the really good judges being kept off the bench, we're left with all these pinko activist judges out there. They make me want to puke! Thank God we've got courageous men in our legislature. Men like John Cornyn and Tom Delay, who call it like it is. When they see an activist judge, they know what to do! Advocate violence toward them!

That's what our Founding Fathers would have done, you know. If there was some Judgey McLefty looking to take God out of the school systems or allow fags to marry, don't you think a real Man's man--but not in the gay way--like Thomas Jefferson wouldn't have put a cap in them? You bet ya!

These judges are just asking for it! Sitting up there. Judging. Ha! Well, I judge be dicks!