Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, April 28, 2005



There's no such thing as an original thought, dammit.

I have had the experience, with Netflix, of ordering a movie because it achieved a lot of acclaim and because I thought I should see it, only to have it sit for a month or two gathering dust in front of my DVD player. I call such movies Broccoli Movies, because I never have any enthusiasm for them, even though I know they'll be "good for me."

Now, I find out that someone has coined the term Spinach Cinema. Well, you know what? I like spinach. Not cooked, of course, I'm talking fresh, well-washed spinach in a nice salad. Anyway, I like my term better, goddammit.

And while I'm talking about things DVD-related, I'm a little pissed because my three-year-old DVD player is not functioning. Every time I put a disc in, it makes a pathetic, gasping attempt to get things going, then flashes a No Disc message on the read-out and an Insert Disc message on the TV screen. Not happy, especially because I'm trying to be a good husband and tape shows for my wife, who is working incredibly long hours right now and deserves to relax with something she enjoys when she gets home. These are shows that I don't want to watch. In fact, I have a very strong feeling that, if I were to watch these shows, I might end up doing violence to someone. Not that they're bad shows or anything, they're just not...for guys.

The point here is that I need the DVD player to work so I can watch a movie while my honey's shows are recording.

So I hopped on line and went to Sony's tech support site, where "Sam", the ever-so-helpful customer service fella looked deep into his technological manuals and then suggested that I unplug it for a few minutes and, if that didn't work, that I blow on it. They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel with their tech support folks. I suggested that "Sam" plug something up his ass and then blow himself and I resigned myself to watching a Very Special Episode of Felicity.

dood. I feel your pain. At least it isn't America's Next Top Model.
Blowing on it does work at times. That or giving it a good swift kick.
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