HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
|
HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
|
Monday, April 25, 2005Ha-Ha Funnies!
I've been spending a lot of time in bookstores lately, for some reason and I've been seeing a lot of good stuff in the Humor section. Here's some of the best jokes I've come across:
from Theater History Funnies by Oscar Brockett Knock knock. Who's there? Dadaist! Dadaist who? Crown of squirrels! ************* from The Wit and Wisdom of Tom DeLay How many activist judges does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and the other to overstep the boundaries of the judiciary and unilaterally legislate their beliefs. ************** from The Big Book of Cannibal Humor Two cannibals walk into a bar. The first one sniffs the air and says, "Hey! It smells like Missionary in here." The second one goes, "Okay, who belched?" ************** from The Depressingly True Joke Book Why did George W. Bush cross the road? Because he'd already fucked things up enough on this side. ************** from 1001 Jokes for Diplomats How do you disarm a Syrian? Push for freer elections and a more representative form of government, thus eliminating the need for armed insurrection. ************** from Dennis Miller's Rants, Volume 4803 And now Senate Democrats are threatening to filibuster if the 5% of Bush's nominees who they didn't pass come to the floor again. Listen, if I wanted to hear a Democratic senator talk nonstop, I'd just ask Teddy Kennedy to list all the Delta Gamma Delta gals he's banged in the last thirty years...Y'know, because he's promiscuous? He has a lot of sex outside of marriage? So, so he'd be talking for a long-- Is this thing on? *************** from How to Make Fun of Dick Cheney by Walter Cronkite What's the difference between Dick Cheney and a baboon's ass? Some people think baboons' asses are cute.
|
|
|||
| . | |||||
