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Wednesday, April 27, 2005


Summer Movie Preview, Part II

Well, we started yesterday taking a look at some of the fantastic movies coming this summer to a theater near you. Actually, some of these are probably coming to every theater near you. And to multiple screens inside those theaters. That's because there are certain movies (and I won't name names here, but let's just say that a good example rhymes with Bar Mores: Syringe of the Pith) that the studios know everyone wants to see. What, then are there options? Making people wait until a show isn't sold out? Having the movie-going public see a film across a long period of time and thus spreading the box office receipts over several months instead of all in one weekend? Nope! Not good enough for the generous, thoughtful men and women (sorry, woman) who run our nation's movie studios. To guarantee that you can see the Big Movies when you want to see them, they make sure that their films show every ten minutes at any one of the Super-Multi-Plexes near you. You gotta love those guys! Anyway, on with the movies that you won't have to wait on line to see this June:

Cinderella Man: Russell Crowe is back and his hair is dyed! And if that's not enough to have you clicking your way toward for advanced tickets, get a load of the story: Crowe plays a down-on-his luck family man during the depression who has to box his way to glory to put food on the table. This one's already being hailed by critics as "Like Seabiscuit, but with a dude instead of a horse." This one also stars Renee Zellweger, who I absolutely love. I think she's better in movies the skinnier she is. I can usually accurately measure the quality of a Zellweger movie by how many of her ribs I can see. Based on previews, this one looks like an Eight-Ribber!

War of the Worlds: Don't look now, but Tom Cruise is getting ready to destroy the planet! No, it's not part of some Scientological conspiracy. (As far as I'm aware.) Rather, Cruise is teaming up with his buddies Steven Spielberg and Tim Robbins--Academy Award-winners all (except Cruise)--to adapt the classic H.G. Wells novel for the big screen! The good news for those of us who are confused and angered when movies don't take place in our current time, Cruise and Company have moved the story from 19th Century England to modern-day America. I'm guessing that Mr. Cruise feels that he's more than mastered the period movie, what with Far and Away and Interview with the Vampire. Whenever he is, though, I'm sure that Tom will be H.G. Wells-tastic!

Herbie--Fully Loaded: I don't know about you, but I just can't get enough of Lindsay Lohan. I sometimes can't remember who she is exactly, the gal from Lizzie Maguire or the kid from Saved by the Bell, but whichever one she is, I love her! You couple that with the return of one of the greatest characters to every grace the silver screen and you'll have to drag me away from the theater with a team of really strong horses! This one also has Breckin Meyer, star of two of my favorite sitcoms, Inside Schwartz and Married to the Kellys (I can not get enough of the Irish jokes.)

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: I have long been of the opinion that there just aren't enough movies about articles of clothing. I, for one, thought that Cold Mountain would have been a lot better if it had focused a little less on the love story and a little more on the aprons. This one is based, I have learned through painstaking research, on a young-adult novel very popular with teenage girls. Makes sense to me. Girls love to travel, girls love pants. This one's got it all! You go, girl's pants!

Howl's Moving Castle: Here's one for the entire family. It's a sumptuously animated cartoon from the director who brought you 2002's Spirited Away. Now, I didn't see that one. It actually looked a little too gay for me. But I heard it was great. And this one promises more of the same, but this time with the voice of Billy Crystal!

Tomorrow: July and August!

You love Lindsay Lohan, too? Sweet.
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