Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Ode to Nelly

Very odd. For a little while there, I was unable to get to my blog. When I typed in my address, I just got a blank page. I was worried that maybe I'd started to go blind, like the older sister on Little House on the Prairie.

But I'm not like Mary. No, I'll never triumph over blindness, open a school and marry the guy who will later go on to create Malcolm in the Middle. No, I'm much more like Nelly. Nelly Olson, the misunderstood monster.

Everyone thought Nelly was just a bitch. Not true. Nelly just needed the love of that nerdy little guy who came along in, I believe, season 5. Then she blossomed like the flower she'd always been meant to be.

Oh, Nelly. You were so sad, struggling to find yourself and taking it out on others when you couldn't. Your mother certainly didn't help, with her materialism and her shrewish ways. No wonder your father fantasized so often about killing her. No wonder you lived your life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to cling to when the rain came in. I wish I could have known you, but I was just a kid. Your TV series ended long before your legend ever did.

Go to hell, Half-Pint.

"Go to hell, Half-Pint" is one of those sentences that is even funnier when taken out of context.
Ya know, this is a show I only watched in spanish (La Casa Pequena en la Montanas), and it made no sense to me why these folks would dress the way they did, and never went to the beach. Buncha losers, you ask me.
GASP! How dare you curse Half-Pint!

Take it back! Take it back!

Pretending Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster do not exist is bad enough, but this, this is too much.

He didn't mean it Laura. He didn't.
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