HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Thursday, July 28, 2005That's Where I'm a Viking!
My wife dreamed last night that we split up temporarily and, while we were apart, I married and divorced four other women. Why is it that I seem to be an asshole in other people's dreams? In real life, I'm not Mary Poppins or anything, but I don't think I'm the type of person who'd marry and divorce four women in a few months' time. What does it say about me, then, that my wife seems to dream that I would, for example, put our dog in a rocket and launch him into space. To what degree should we be held accountable for our behavior in other people's dreams?
Because I think many of us have had that experience of being the object of someone's anger when we know we've done nothing wrong, only to find out that we took a shit on their grandma in the middle of the Yellow Brick Road. I always get fairly indignant in these situations. Dammit, I didn't shit on anybody, in Oz or in New York, so leave me alone. But, there has to be a reason, right? There has to have been something we did that would make the dreamer believe that we're capable of, say, turning into a werewolf and anally raping a nun. They have to, somewhere deep inside of them, think of us as a nun-raping werewolf. And that's just depressing, man. So I want to put this out there right now: If, when you fall asleep tonight, you dream that I jump out of your toaster with a blowtorch and start setting fire to your giant box of Frosted Flakes, don't tell me about it. Just think what I may have done in real life that causes you to imagine me as a cereal arsonist and then tell me about that. In return, I won't tell you about the dream I had about you in which you stripped off your clothes and got it on with Chuck Woolery. Deal?
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