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Thursday, August 11, 2005


Road Block

I've been watching The Amazing Race too damn much.

I can tell this because it's starting to creep into my day-to-day thinking. When my wife and I got to Sea-Tac airport on Monday evening, I chuckled at how clever we'd been to not bring any bags that needed to be checked and I felt sure that that would give us an advantage over the other teams.

I yelled at our Shuttle Express driver to "Go! Go! Go!" I told him to not let other cars pass us.

Last night, we were driving around a Seattle suburb and I saw a "Detour" sign. I automatically thought, "A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons."

I'm hearing the theme music in my sleep and I keep thinking I see Phil and his mat around every corner.

I get itchy if I go a day without seeing an episode. I'm thinking of buying one of those retarded Foreign Legion hats so I can run around barking orders at people and pretending I'm Ian from Season 3.

DVR was meant to free us. It was meant to allow us to do things we want to do and not worry that we had to be home to watch a television show. Instead, it's forced me to sit on my couch for hours to catch up on all of the shows I've taped.

I know now. I must destroy DVR. I must rid the earth of this scourge, before it wipes out humanity in a blaze of potato chips and ass-dents in the cushions. Don't try to talk me out of it. I know my duty and I embrace it. If you don't hear from me again, you'll know that I was no match for DVR. But match or not, I will do my best. Look out, DVR. I'm hunting for you.

I freakin' love it.
My wife and I were meeting 3 other couples for dinner last night. When we got there, and told the host which party we were joining, he told us that we were the first ones there. I turned to Marcia and said, "We are the first team to arrive!" We high-fived.

Then we had the host hand out second and third place as the others got there...the host, who was a great sport, actually told the final couple, "Rhonda and Clayton, You are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to have to tell you that you've been eliminated from this dinner."

It seemed funnier when it happened than when I wrote it just now. Oh well.

OMG. LMAO. I've been moving so I haven't been able to read you lately, but you crack me up!!
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