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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Bozo the Surgeon

There was a news story that caught my eye yesterday about a recent study which found that children undergoing surgery tend to do better when there's a clown in the room before they undergo anesthesia. What the hell is this about?

Personally, if I'm about to have someone slicing me open and fucking around with my insides, the only thing I would less want to see than a clown would be maybe a zombie. Clowns are creepy. Clowns either kill you through torture (John Wayne Gacey) or cholesterol (Ronald McDonald).

Even if you ignore the creepiness of clowns, there's still the question of professionalism. So, in the room, you've got the doctor, who went through eight years of medical school so that he could learn how to perform a triple bypass. You've got the nurse who's had six years of undergrad and nursing school so that she's qualified to monitor your vitals while your body is cut open. Then, you've got a guy who went to a summer of clown college so that he can dump a bucket of confetti on you.

You absolutely need to have someone funny in the room before surgery? Fine. Bring in the cast of Blue Collar TV to perform and I'll be too anxious to be anesthetized to think twice about my impending hip replacement.

I think a better "alternative" use of clowns might be as hostage negotiators. This runs along similar thinking to rodeo clowns. You could give the psychopaths holding their families at gunpoint someone at whom they can really vent their fury.

I guess, at the heart of all this, I just don't want to think that the world's been made a better place because of Patch Adams. If a Robin Williams movie was to have a lasting impact on society, I'd really rather it was Popeye, which taught us that even Robert Altman fucks up every once in awhile.

posted by Joe # 11:07 AM

Comments:

The best part about that whole clown story was seeing it scroll across the CNN ticker. There are slow news days and then there are slow news days.

# posted by

Kato : 5:49 PM

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Bozo the Surgeon

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		Tuesday, October 04, 2005 Bozo the Surgeon There was a news story that caught my eye yesterday about a recent study which found that children undergoing surgery tend to do better when there's a clown in the room before they undergo anesthesia. What the hell is this about? Personally, if I'm about to have someone slicing me open and fucking around with my insides, the only thing I would less want to see than a clown would be maybe a zombie. Clowns are creepy. Clowns either kill you through torture (John Wayne Gacey) or cholesterol (Ronald McDonald). Even if you ignore the creepiness of clowns, there's still the question of professionalism. So, in the room, you've got the doctor, who went through eight years of medical school so that he could learn how to perform a triple bypass. You've got the nurse who's had six years of undergrad and nursing school so that she's qualified to monitor your vitals while your body is cut open. Then, you've got a guy who went to a summer of clown college so that he can dump a bucket of confetti on you. You absolutely need to have someone funny in the room before surgery? Fine. Bring in the cast of Blue Collar TV to perform and I'll be too anxious to be anesthetized to think twice about my impending hip replacement. I think a better "alternative" use of clowns might be as hostage negotiators. This runs along similar thinking to rodeo clowns. You could give the psychopaths holding their families at gunpoint someone at whom they can really vent their fury. I guess, at the heart of all this, I just don't want to think that the world's been made a better place because of Patch Adams. If a Robin Williams movie was to have a lasting impact on society, I'd really rather it was Popeye, which taught us that even Robert Altman fucks up every once in awhile. posted by Joe # 11:07 AM Comments: The best part about that whole clown story was seeing it scroll across the CNN ticker. There are slow news days and then there are slow news days. # posted by Kato : 5:49 PM Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011