HAIRSHIRT

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Hairshirt Horoscope

Aries: You need to take better care of your flying monkeys.

Taurus: You feel that, in the movie of your life, you'd be played by Cate Blanchett. We've done some checking and you'd actually be played by Tara Reid.

Gemini: Today, you are in danger of getting a very bad paper cut. On your ass. It's a long story.

Cancer: Your carelessness could lead to someone's feelings getting badly hurt. Then again, it could also lead to you having wild sex with the person of your dreams. What I'm saying is that everything's fucking random.

Leo: You feel a trifle uneasy today, almost as if your civil rights are in danger of being trampled upon by a right-leaning Supreme Court. Eerie.

Virgo: A candy corn sandwich is not part of a nutritious lunch.

Libra: You need to stop trying to get bitten by a spider. Even if one of them turned out to be radioactive, it would not give you superpowers. At most, it would make you sterile. Which, of course, would be great news for the gene pool.

Scorpio: Your doom is on it's way to you even as you read this. Don't worry, though, 'cause it's being sent UPS, so the odds are that you'll never fucking get it.

Sagittarius: Wondering if your little habit of taking off your clothes and covering your body with uncooked chicken skin would be considered weird by most people? Well, wonder no more, you great big perv.

Capricorn: Tonight is an excellent night to engage in lively conversation and indulge in food and drink. It's just a pity that you'll once again be doing this alone.

Aquarius: Yes, it's too early to put up your fucking Christmas tree.

Pisces: You're not going to impress your date by paying for dinner with rolled-up nickels.

posted by Joe # 5:40 PM

Comments:

Couldn't my carelessness cause me to have wild sex and then hurt the person's feelings afterwards? Because, in all honestly, I could use some wild sex right now. (I was a punk rocker)

# posted by

Cindy-Lou : 9:36 PM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Hairshirt Horoscope

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		Wednesday, November 02, 2005 Hairshirt Horoscope Aries: You need to take better care of your flying monkeys. Taurus: You feel that, in the movie of your life, you'd be played by Cate Blanchett. We've done some checking and you'd actually be played by Tara Reid. Gemini: Today, you are in danger of getting a very bad paper cut. On your ass. It's a long story. Cancer: Your carelessness could lead to someone's feelings getting badly hurt. Then again, it could also lead to you having wild sex with the person of your dreams. What I'm saying is that everything's fucking random. Leo: You feel a trifle uneasy today, almost as if your civil rights are in danger of being trampled upon by a right-leaning Supreme Court. Eerie. Virgo: A candy corn sandwich is not part of a nutritious lunch. Libra: You need to stop trying to get bitten by a spider. Even if one of them turned out to be radioactive, it would not give you superpowers. At most, it would make you sterile. Which, of course, would be great news for the gene pool. Scorpio: Your doom is on it's way to you even as you read this. Don't worry, though, 'cause it's being sent UPS, so the odds are that you'll never fucking get it. Sagittarius: Wondering if your little habit of taking off your clothes and covering your body with uncooked chicken skin would be considered weird by most people? Well, wonder no more, you great big perv. Capricorn: Tonight is an excellent night to engage in lively conversation and indulge in food and drink. It's just a pity that you'll once again be doing this alone. Aquarius: Yes, it's too early to put up your fucking Christmas tree. Pisces: You're not going to impress your date by paying for dinner with rolled-up nickels. posted by Joe # 5:40 PM Comments: Couldn't my carelessness cause me to have wild sex and then hurt the person's feelings afterwards? Because, in all honestly, I could use some wild sex right now. (I was a punk rocker) # posted by Cindy-Lou : 9:36 PM Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011