HAIRSHIRT

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Hairshirt Horoscope

Aries: You're very grateful today for President Bush's reassuring words about the war in Iraq. For awhile, you were starting to worry that we were pissing young American lives away for no clear reason. Thank God he set us all straight on that.

Taurus: This week, you feel a bit underappreciated. These feelings are perfectly valid. This doesn't, however, mean that you should stand on your chair at work screeching, "What about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!?"

Gemini: There are better ways to impress people than by doing your Fonzie impression.

Cancer: This week, you engage in wholesome wintertime activities with your family. Things like getting drunk and pissing your name in the snow. They're lucky to have a mother like you.

Leo: Leaving your socks on during sex is not hot.

Virgo: This week, you nearly come to blows with your significant other while decorating your Christmas tree. Don't worry, the emergency room nurses have removed keepsake ornaments from people's asses before, so you should come through it okay.

Libra: You should focus on the positive this week. For example, the horrendous winter cold you're suffering through means you can't smell that vomitty drunk on the bus. Lemons into lemonade, Libra.

Scorpio: The Transportation Safety Administration's decision to allow sharp objects on planes again means you can resume your old habit of dressing like Edward Scissorhands on transcontinental flights. Huzzah!

Sagittarius: "O' Holy Night" is a beautiful song. When sung by anyone else but you.

Capricorn: You should probably refrain from asking the clerk at Victoria's Secret which wonderbra would look best on your blow-up doll.

Aquarius: Mmmmm. Soup.

Pisces: You prove your harshest critics wrong by finding your own asshole with a map this week. Congratulations!

posted by Joe # 5:45 PM

Comments:

I happened upon this by accident (okay I was pushing "next blog") and had to tell you it made me laugh out loud - Tarus here - so can relate!

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:15 PM

Hey, I'm a great mom and that is quite a talent, I'll tell you what.

# posted by

Cindy-Lou : 12:09 PM

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Hairshirt Horoscope

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		Wednesday, November 30, 2005 Hairshirt Horoscope Aries: You're very grateful today for President Bush's reassuring words about the war in Iraq. For awhile, you were starting to worry that we were pissing young American lives away for no clear reason. Thank God he set us all straight on that. Taurus: This week, you feel a bit underappreciated. These feelings are perfectly valid. This doesn't, however, mean that you should stand on your chair at work screeching, "What about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!?" Gemini: There are better ways to impress people than by doing your Fonzie impression. Cancer: This week, you engage in wholesome wintertime activities with your family. Things like getting drunk and pissing your name in the snow. They're lucky to have a mother like you. Leo: Leaving your socks on during sex is not hot. Virgo: This week, you nearly come to blows with your significant other while decorating your Christmas tree. Don't worry, the emergency room nurses have removed keepsake ornaments from people's asses before, so you should come through it okay. Libra: You should focus on the positive this week. For example, the horrendous winter cold you're suffering through means you can't smell that vomitty drunk on the bus. Lemons into lemonade, Libra. Scorpio: The Transportation Safety Administration's decision to allow sharp objects on planes again means you can resume your old habit of dressing like Edward Scissorhands on transcontinental flights. Huzzah! Sagittarius: "O' Holy Night" is a beautiful song. When sung by anyone else but you. Capricorn: You should probably refrain from asking the clerk at Victoria's Secret which wonderbra would look best on your blow-up doll. Aquarius: Mmmmm. Soup. Pisces: You prove your harshest critics wrong by finding your own asshole with a map this week. Congratulations! posted by Joe # 5:45 PM Comments: I happened upon this by accident (okay I was pushing "next blog") and had to tell you it made me laugh out loud - Tarus here - so can relate! # posted by Anonymous : 6:15 PM Hey, I'm a great mom and that is quite a talent, I'll tell you what. # posted by Cindy-Lou : 12:09 PM Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011