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Thursday, November 24, 2005


Hey, Thanks

So today is the day when we're meant to take a look at our lives and be thankful for everything we have. I, for one, find it difficult at times to get my brain working in enough of an up-with-people, rainbows and lollipops fashion to find anything positive for which I can express gratitude. Which always leads me to be thankful that, although everything sucks, it doesn't suck quite as hard as if maybe could. So here's my list of what I'm thankful for this year:
  • I'm thankful that Bush can't run for a third term and that it looks like he's fucking things up so bad that all the morons who were scared into voting for him last year will see the light come midterm election time. Of course, I thought it was painfully obvious what a retard he was the last time, so I'm not holding out much hope for that one.
  • I'm thankful for the kids I teach. Yes, they curse at me and hit each other and don't do work and have grammar so bad it makes me wake up screaming. But they're not armed. So there's that.
  • I'm thankful that we live in a free society where the government doesn't force me to go see Rent. Bringing back the original cast ten years later to play characters in their twenties? Genius! Sheer genius!
  • I'm thankful for pie.
  • I'm thankful that I don't work in an industry where the jobs will have been totally shipped overseas within the next five years. I think there are maybe two industries left in America where that's the case.
  • I'm thankful that I'm just fat and flabby instead of morbidly obese. 'Cause I'd hate to have to pay someone to clean between my fat rolls.
  • I'm thankful for the high quality of American television programming.
  • But mostly, I'm thankful for irony.
Happy Thanksgiving.

i'm thankful for hairshirt, and the daily chuckle it bequeaths upon me.
I too am thankful for irony, simply for fear that to say otherwise would mean it would up its dosage.
I, three, am thankful for irony.

Irony, however, doesn't give a shit about me.
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