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Friday, January 27, 2006


Bernie, Bernie

Let me just say from the outset, here, that I am these days--at best--only a casual fan of football. Actually, "fan" might be taking things a couple of dozen steps too far. The truth of the matter is that I watched some sizeable chunks of the NFC and AFC championship games last weekend and enjoyed them, but I haven't actually followed or given a shit about football since Art Modell yanked the Browns out of Cleveland and we were left without a team while the franchise that we loved so very much morphed into the hated Ravens.

I remember though. I remember what it was like to be a Browns fan. I remember so many Sundays during sub-zero Ohio winters when I would sit with my dad and watch the Browns. I was with them from the Brian Sipe years through the end of the Bernie Kosar era. I remember the one time I got to see them play in Cleveland Stadium and witnessed live the energy of the fans in the Dawg Pound.

What I remember most, though, is those fucking jaggoffs losing crucial games. I remember howling in pain and fury as they lost yet another match with the rival Steelers. I remember playoff games where they blew huge leads. I remember the excruciating heartbreak of realizing that they'd let me down once again.

And that's how I've come to feel about the Democrats. Those fucking jaggoffs.

This has been the kind of year they had to have been praying for. One Bush fuck-up after another. Scandals left and right. A war that's dragging on and on and on. And they can't manage more than a half-assed dog and pony show of a filibuster attempt? They can't muster the balls to beat back Rove & Co.'s "That's right, we're tapping your calls and we're proud of it" bullshit?

I have always been opposed to term-limits. To my mind, term-limits were, at best, redundant--as the people always had the power to vote out of office anyone they thought was doing a poor job--and, at worst, a way to ensure that we never had experienced politicians around who knew how to legislate. I always thought that, if you had someone representing you with whom you were happy and who was doing a good job, there shouldn't be any problem keeping them. I'm starting to rethink this now.

The Democrats seem like bunny rabbits in the path of an oncoming car. They're so scared of doing something that's going to keep them from getting re-elected that they won't commit to making a genuine stand on anything. Maybe if we freed them of the worry of keeping their jobs, they'd be able to get something done.

As it stands, they're looking not so much like the Kardiac Kids or the Kosar-led team that lost to Elway and "The Drive" as the post-Sipe '84 Browns. Those guys went 5-11.

I've been trying to rack my brains in trying to figure out why the Dems are so fucking chickenshit right now...can't figure it out.
Word on being burnt by the Browns. I wrote an essay on that:
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