HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006Futureshock
You can almost hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from around the country as liberals nationwide express their grief and frustration: The Squid and the Whale got one measly fucking nomination!
Oh, and also the Senate confirmed a religious loony to the Supreme Court, who's going to help conservatives roll back our laws to how they were during the Salem Witch Trials. So there's that. Excellent post over at The Talent Show discussing this very thing. But, whatever. It's a done deal. All we can do is sit back and watch what happens, which, with the help of our fantastic Hairshirt Time Machine, we will do right now. Here, then, are some Headlines from the Future, now somewhat bleaker for our right-leaning Supreme Court. July 14, 2006: Court Ruling: Bush Can Legally Set Fire to Hobos February 27, 2007 Top Court Awards Man Ownership of Wife's Vagina May 1, 2007 School Snake-Handling Made Mandatory October 13, 2008 Court Backs Iowa's "Fag-Hunting" Permits November 3, 2008 Bush Elected to Third Term June 12, 2009 Glaxo-SmithKline Introduces "Soma" November 17, 2009 Court Okays Electrocution for Jaywalkers August 2, 2010 Canada Begins Construction of Wall Along U.S. Border March 8, 2011 5-4 Decision: Feds Can Subpoena Thoughts September 25, 2011 Court Backs Replacing Constitution with Seven Habits of Highly Effective People It doesn't look too pretty, does it?
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