HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006Your Cheatin' Heart
This week, my wife and I saw Match Point, the latest from Woody Allen, which a whole lot of critics are lauding as a "return to form" for a director who has churned out steaming piles of crap for a good decade or so. I don't know what they're talking about. I just saw another steaming pile.
First off, let me say that Allen has done this movie before. To me, this movie is basically just Crimes and Misdemeanors minus the misdemeanors. I recently read a magazine article in which he was discussing his filmography and he said that he wished, in hindsight, that he'd focused completely on the Martin Landau character in C&M. And now he has. So you could basically think of this as Crimes and Misdemeanors: Director's Cut. Okay, it's great that Allen doesn't have Jonathan Rhys-Meyers doing a painful Woody Allen impression. But that in and of itself doesn't make this a great movie. We've got the usual Allen characters--rich, urbane, white--doing the usual Allen stuff--having affairs, feeling guilty. The only difference here is that they've got British accents. To be completely fair, the reasons I hated this flick were not entirely the fault of Woody Allen. Mostly, I just really can't stand movies that are about someone cheating on their spouse. I can't explain it, but when someone on the screen sneaks away from their wife or husband and starts pulling off their clothing, I get all squirmy and have to force myself to stay in the room. I can't hack it. I have no real idea why this sort of thing should affect me so strongly. My mom and dad are still together. My childhood home was never torn apart by one of them gettin' some on the side. I've been with the same woman since I was twenty-three, so it's been a long time since a relationship I was in broke apart and I don't really even remember if any of those bust-ups happened because I was cheated on. So there's no personal reason that cheaters should rank so high on my shit list. I guess I just feel really bad for the person being cheated on. No one deserves that. No one deserves to have the person they love hopping in bed with someone else. No matter how shrewish the wife in a movie is, no matter how cold and unfeeling the husband, I don't think cheating is justified. Fucking get a divorce, asshole. Then you can fuck whoever the hell you want. Do I sound puritanical? Oh well. Cheating is just one thing I can't wrap my mind around and I don't wish to try. This makes it difficult for me to enjoy movies in which our "hero" fucks around. Ray, Unfaithful, The Good Girl. Good movies, I suppose. But their protagonists are somewhat wrecked for me, 'cause they couldn't keep it in their pants. This is why I'd make such a lousy swinger.
Comments:
Good article Hoss,
You have no idea whatsoever who the fuck I am, but I was directed to your Blog by by benevolent brother, Erkel. I agree with the basics of what you are trying to say...If the pussy strays, the dick stays. The shit is basically free (minus the coffee, drunken breakfast and gratuitous jewelry or poetry we lay on them to get laid). Swinging or not...is the shit worth the trouble.
# posted by
 : 1:59 AM
I liked The Good Girl, but only because it involved someone obsessed with The Catcher In The Rye who was not a serial killer.
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Funny, I never imagined swingers would watch anything other than porn and movies set in ancient Rome.
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