Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Big Angry Dick
Well, it looks like we've finally got the answer to the age-old question, "Exactly how mean a son of a bitch is Dick Cheney?" That answer would be: mean enough that, if you piss him off, he will shoot you in the face.
Goddamn, man. You will not catch me crossing Big Dick, let me tell you. Now, I don't know exactly who this rich guy was that Cheney blasted, but I bet he's regretting whatever it was he did or said that stuck in Dick's craw.
If I had to guess, I'd surmise that it went down a little something like this:
RICH GUY: That's a nice gun you've got there, Mr. Vice-President.
RICH GUY: Say, you think maybe you guys screwed the pooch on this whole Iraq thing?
Well, I certainly hope the cops that arrested the Vice-President were extremely careful when they took him down. I'd imagine it's a scary thing to be on the kaboomy end of a gun in Cheney's hands.
This doesn't appear to have been a fantastic weekend for Dick's boss-man, either. Time has published pictures of Georgie with Jack Abramoff, who Bush has claimed he never met. Bush also claims that he never made out with Abramoff or dressed up like Catholic school girls with him and lip-synced "99 Luftballoons", but the pictures say otherwise.
Okay, they don't really show that, but, man, wouldn't it be fucking awesome if they did?