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Monday, February 27, 2006

Death...Exciting and Ne-e-e-ew

Something's going on. Some plot is afoot. Someone, with sinister intent, is bumping off a Love Boat-full of 70s television's B-stars. Why? Toward what end, I'm asking, are these fiends doing away with our beloved former Hollywood Squares guests?

First Don Knotts. (Ron Rotts! Ron Rotts!) Okay. So we're sad and we mourn the loss.

Then Darren McGavin. Holy shit! What're the odds that two polyester-age icons (Mr. Furley and Kolchak!) should kick it within hours of each other? The odds are pretty damn long, people. They're pretty damn long.

Okay. I can maybe--maybe--chalk this up to coincidence. They were both in their early 80s and reaching that age will tend to take its toll on a guy. So, I thought, yeah, maybe the two deaths were unrelated.

Until today.

Dennis Weaver? One of the great yokel-on-the-big-city-police-force-types of all kind? (I'd rank him a notch above Due South's Mountie Benton Fraser and twenty times better than Enos.) This is not a guy who would just willingly succumb to the Grim Reaper. There's more to it than that. There's got to be.

Which is why I think there's some foul doings going on here. Someone is out to get these guys. We need to warn them. We need to protect them.

Let's get James Garner into protective custody! Somebody buy Dirk Benedict a bullet-proof vest! Has anyone checked in on Conrad Bain lately?

Listen, these people are national treasures (in a loose interpretation of the phrase) and we need to preserve them. We need to get to the bottom of this.

What could be happening? Has Ricardo Montalban gone insane and decided to take out anyone who ever guested on Fantasy Island? Are movie producers looking to ramp up the visibility of old TV shows to drum up interest in big-screen remakes? Is this some geriatric version of Final Destination 4? Stop the madness!

I just fear that I'll wake up tomorrow and hear that Jim Nabors kicked it. I don't think I could deal with that.

posted by Joe # 5:12 PM

Comments:

You may be a king, or a common street sweeper, but sooner or later, you'll dance with the Reaper.

Sorry, about the spate of deaths. I got hungry.

# posted by

TheGrimReaper : 6:41 PM

Monday, February 27, 2006

Death...Exciting and Ne-e-e-ew

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		Monday, February 27, 2006 Death...Exciting and Ne-e-e-ew Something's going on. Some plot is afoot. Someone, with sinister intent, is bumping off a Love Boat-full of 70s television's B-stars. Why? Toward what end, I'm asking, are these fiends doing away with our beloved former Hollywood Squares guests? First Don Knotts. (Ron Rotts! Ron Rotts!) Okay. So we're sad and we mourn the loss. Then Darren McGavin. Holy shit! What're the odds that two polyester-age icons (Mr. Furley and Kolchak!) should kick it within hours of each other? The odds are pretty damn long, people. They're pretty damn long. Okay. I can maybe--maybe--chalk this up to coincidence. They were both in their early 80s and reaching that age will tend to take its toll on a guy. So, I thought, yeah, maybe the two deaths were unrelated. Until today. Dennis Weaver? One of the great yokel-on-the-big-city-police-force-types of all kind? (I'd rank him a notch above Due South's Mountie Benton Fraser and twenty times better than Enos.) This is not a guy who would just willingly succumb to the Grim Reaper. There's more to it than that. There's got to be. Which is why I think there's some foul doings going on here. Someone is out to get these guys. We need to warn them. We need to protect them. Let's get James Garner into protective custody! Somebody buy Dirk Benedict a bullet-proof vest! Has anyone checked in on Conrad Bain lately? Listen, these people are national treasures (in a loose interpretation of the phrase) and we need to preserve them. We need to get to the bottom of this. What could be happening? Has Ricardo Montalban gone insane and decided to take out anyone who ever guested on Fantasy Island? Are movie producers looking to ramp up the visibility of old TV shows to drum up interest in big-screen remakes? Is this some geriatric version of Final Destination 4? Stop the madness! I just fear that I'll wake up tomorrow and hear that Jim Nabors kicked it. I don't think I could deal with that. posted by Joe # 5:12 PM Comments: You may be a king, or a common street sweeper, but sooner or later, you'll dance with the Reaper. Sorry, about the spate of deaths. I got hungry. # posted by TheGrimReaper : 6:41 PM Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011