Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Friday, February 17, 2006



It is simply amazing what a good shower can do for your mood. This morning, I had one of the most enjoyable showers I've had in a long time. And it didn't even involve any "special handshakes".

With nobody else in the household to disturb, I was able to be as loud as I wished, and so I...
  • sung as much as I could remember of "That's the Way (Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh) I Like It"
  • popped a new cartridge in my Gillette Mach3 Turbo and engaged in some free-style precision shaving, knocking off one errant mustache hair at a time
  • performed the opening notes of the Godfather Theme as a tremorous whistle; in my best faux-tuba sounds and as a series of Carol Channing "la-la"s
  • attempted to make the stupidest face I could in my shaving mirror (the winner was accompanied by a fantastic "duhhhhh" sound that I wish I could replicate here)
  • worked on my Dick Cheney impression (unfortunately, it sounded, in the end, too much like someone doing an impression of Jon Stewart doing an impression of the Vice-President)
  • worked up a dynamic shampoo lather and molded my hair into a pompadour
  • composed a haiku about the loofah
I stepped from the tub a better--and cleaner--man. And so I say...good morning!

Your blog cracks me up every day. Thanks!
Cracks you up? Dude, these are very painful personal stories and you're laughing? You cruel bastard!
i'd like to hear the haiku.
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