Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Tuesday, March 07, 2006



So, after listening to a discussion on my local NPR station from this morning, in which journalists discussed the recently announced U.S.-India nuclear deal, an idea struck home.

International politics are exactly the same as the machinations of junior high school girls.

It's a little bit eerie, in fact. Try this: I'm going to jot down a few statements that I've heard recently. See if you can tell which ones come from international diplomats and which from 12- and 13-year-old girls.

"Oh my gawd. Did you see what she was wearing? She's, like, totally a slut."

"Okay, so I made a list of who can join our group and who can't? And I think since Pakistan says they're cool with India, then they should both get in."

"I am so pissed. I thought China was my friend, but then England told me that China was totally, like, hanging out with Iran. China is soooo lame."

"So, we all, like, talked about it, and we decided that we're going to vote on it, but you don't get to vote. You can say how you feel about it, but your vote doesn't count."

"Oh my gawd! So my mom drove us to the beach, and India had on this swimsuit and I totally checked out their economy. Mmmm. I want to get some of that."

"I know we were all, like, friends last year, but I was talking with everyone else, and I decided that I can't be friends with you anymore. Bye."

And here's the thing: these were all statements made by international diplomats. Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Yeah but seriously, India does look hot in that swimsuit.
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