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Sunday, April 16, 2006


Here Comes Jesus Cottontail

Happy Easter!

I spent this morning hiding Easter eggs all around our apartment for our kids. Seeing as how we don't have any kids yet, I'm really hoping they keep for a few years.

I'm not the only one celebrating this holiday, though, which might surprise you. (Seriously, stop and think about this: people are celebrating a guy coming out of a cave after being nailed for a few days to some wood.)
  • Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his first Easter mass by kicking it old school. The pontiff returned to the practice of washing the feet of laymen, a tradition Pope John Paul II had given up in 1985 after developing a severe allergy to athlete's foot. Pope Benny ramped things up a notch, not only washing the laymen's feet, but giving them a full-service pedicure, including painting the laymen's nails with two coats of Covergirl's Seashell Pink.
  • A bunch of Filipino guys celebrated the holiday by having themselves crucified. I think this is an awesome idea and I'm going to do something along these lines next Christmas, when I plan to have myself pushed out of the vagina of a virgin.
  • In a related story, a Scottish TV reporter celebrated being a big cry-baby by deciding at the last minute not to have himself crucified. He'd been in the Philippines in order to make himself part of the story and then chickened out at the last minute. Apparently, he'd been under the impression that Filipino crucifixion was something like Civil War re-enactments and that they'd use fake nails or something.
  • President Bush celebrated the holiday by buying Donald Rumsfeld a beautiful Easter bonnet. Said the President, "I think this pretty hat with all the lace and flowers expresses my complete confidence in the job that Rummy is doing. I'm sure he'll be wearing it during the upcoming invasion of Iran. Whoops!"
  • Tom Cruise celebrated Easter by being even creepier.

It's funny that you're hiding easter eggs for your yet to exist kids. Remember where the candy is in case it doesn't keep. As for my future kids, I'm saving up for their college education already.
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