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Friday, April 07, 2006


My Report Card

I got problems. I'm lazy. I'm chunky. I've got the worst financial sense this side of...some guy who's lousy with money. I try. I do. I've been running since last August, but I've been inconsistent. I've been working on a re-write of my last screenplay, but I've been letting it sit while I either work on other stuff or sit in front of the television watching Grey's Anatomy. (That's a joke, folks. I usually try to leave the room when any "hunky doctor" shows come on the tube.) I've been putting money in savings, but I have a bad habit of not checking my bank account daily, so the money I'm left after making a savings deposit runs out like drool down a baby's chin. Or a drunk's chin. Or something. Basically, I'm a little pathetic.

So here's what I'm gonna do: I'm a teacher. (At least that's what it said on my tax return. My students might beg to differ.) I'm going to use some teacher tactics.

As any teacher--even a shitty one--knows, you have to use different strategies on different types of students. A kid who gets in your face and says, "I'm'a snuff you, bitch" is probably not going to turn it around if you promise to have lunch with them. You need to think about what type of student you're dealing with and come up with something that's going to motivate them.

When I was a kid, I was a grade-grubber. Well, maybe not a full-on grubber, but I liked me the A's. I liked 'em a whole lot. And I got a lot of them, too. Not that I was taking particle physics in elementary school or anything. So I'm thinking that what I need to do is start grading myself.

I'm going to give myself a grade at the end of every week. I'm going to come up with a rubric. I'm going to look at how much I've exercised, how much non-blog writing I've done and how fiscally responsible I've been and I'm going to assign myself a grade from A to F.

This week, I'm giving myself a B in Exercise, as I've nearly kept to my Five Times a Week schedule, skipping only Sunday. For Writing, I get a C. I've written nothing this week that hasn't been posted right fucking here. Monetarily, I'll go C-. I spent too much on food this week and made a couple of small purchases that I could have done without.

"Joe's an intelligent student, but he's just not applying himself."

Grey's Anatomy also has hot female doctors... I think.

Man I love that show.

Speaking of shows I love, I have to go try to find Sunday's episode of The West Wing. I missed it.
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