Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, May 25, 2006


So That Was Interesting

I went ahead and did it. I got my back wuh-axed. And I've got to say, "Meh."

I don't really see why people equate the process with something out of Torquemada's playbook. I mean, it stung a bit. It wasn't as pleasant as, say, walking barefoot through a field of daisies. It's nothing that I'd want to choose as a way to spend eternity, if I was given a choice. But neither did I ever feel the need to scream.

Apparently, some men do. Miranda, the very nice Greek-Albanian lady who ripped every single bit of hair off of my back, said that many men whine like little babies. Which, I suppose, should've made me feel very manly or something. But somehow, being especially stoic during a spa treatment just doesn't seem like something to brag about.

I don't think I'll be doing this bi-monthly for the rest of my life or anything. Not because the experience was that unpleasant, nor because I've suddenly realized how much I miss my back hair.

No, the main reason I don't plan on repeating this procedure is that, on the train ride back uptown, I was seated near where this Abercrombie and Fitch model was leaning. I watched this yahoo as he tossed his expertly gelled hair, threw his best pouty faces and failed to pull up his low-riding pants. And I thought, "I bet this yutz has the spa I just went to on his speed dial." And I don't want to associate myself with that type of person. I'm sure my wife would tell you that that doesn't seem to be an immediate danger.

Thanks for the visual.
My god, you make me laugh. And your commenters make me laugh. Edna Garret makes me laugh. But what's up with no horoscope?
Too much emphasis is put on this hairless thing. What is it with people? Why do we have to wax and shave everything? My opinion is that we've become a nation of pedophiles, or at least children who refuse to grow up. This country's worship of youth has created a mass neurosis. I, for one, don't buy into it. Wear your back hair proudly!
Way to tough it out, Sasquatch.

I try to live my life maintenance free. If there's a Brillo Pad projecting out of the sides of my Speedo pickle-holders, so be it.
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