Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, May 04, 2006


When I was about 14 or 15, I did a commercial for a local bank. I played a kid who looked up lovingly from my woodworking project when my father made reference to the concerns he'd had for my future before his mind was eased by the bank's sound financial planning. It was a riveting performance and one that I'm certain could have launched a lucrative career for me in commercials, if only we had lived in a larger market. For the dozens of people who did see it, I'm sure life was never the same, now that they'd seen how much love a son can convey for his fake dad in one look.

Huge residual checks were just not in my future, though, and so I continue to this day with not even the tiniest degree of fame. (I did get my penis bitten off in the horror-tacular Bride of Killer Nerd, now available from Troma Home Video, but I tend not to suggest that people watch my scene in that movie, as my mullet is even scarier than the serial killing.) Consequently, I have no real idea how I'd react if I achieved some level of notoriety.

SK Waller over at the Incurable Insomniac does have some feelings on this topic. Go on over and take a read, ya star-fucker.

"I did get my penis bitten off in the horror-tacular Bride of Killer Nerd..."

The things people will do for fame...Yow!

Now I have to find this film.
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