Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, June 08, 2006


Meme-ories, All Alone in the Moonlight...

I don't normally do this. In fact, I've never, ever done this before and I guarantee you I won't do it again, as it's so fucking close to chain letters and I fucking hate chain letters. However, because I was tagged by such an upstanding lady as EveryDaySuperGoddess, I'm going to go ahead and respond to this. I want to make it clear that I'm doing this only under protest.

Five Items in My Fridge
Dead mouse (I'd get rid of it, but whatever)
Human finger (I'm saving up to get it sewn back on)
Vintage Mayonnaise
Last night's creamed corn (I always make too much)

Five Items in My Closet
Straight-jacket (as a reminder; I'm not ever going back)
Fat pants (really at this point, just "pants")
Dead mouse
Tux I rented under someone else's name in 1989
High-powered rifle I've nicknamed "Betty Lou"

Five Items in My Car
Someone's tooth I once pried out of my front bumper
Porn (I get stuck in traffic a lot)
Chewed-up Nylabone (I get stuck in traffic a lot)
Catheter bag
Dead mouse

Five Items in My Purse
I don't have a purse. I'm a guy, and guys don't fucking carry purses. I do have a back pack. Mostly I use it to carry dead mice.