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Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Ground-Breaking Humor

I remember watching the Comedy Central Roast of Drew Carey when it was first on. I laughed my fucking ass off. It seemed really out there, y'know? These bilious insults flying back and forth, tearing into every single person on the stage. It cracked my shit up.

I watched the Roast of Hugh Hefner five years ago. Also funny. I remember reading an article about it in the New York Observer before it aired. (I read that article about eighty thousand fucking times as I was working at the Humane Society at the time and the New York Observer sells so incredibly poorly that vendors donated hundreds of the frigging things to us to line the animals' cages.)

This Sunday, I DVR'd the Roast of William Shatner. I love a good Captain Kirk impression as much as the next guy, so I thought it might be good for a chuckle or two.

But sweet nose-picking Jesus, this thing is awful. An hour and forty-five minutes of ass-fucking jokes. Wahoo! The comedy stylings of Artie Lange and Greg Giraldo! Yippee! Andy Dick acting weird! How exciting!

I mean, seriously, I get it. Farrah Fawcett was attractive and now she's not. Betty White is old and old people wet their pants. George Takei is gay and gay people have butt sex. It's not that I don't think that these jokes are offensive. They are, but that doesn't fucking bother me. What bothers me is that every one of these third rate jaggoffs runs through the exact same fucking routine. The first time someone makes a reference to Jason Alexander not having worked steadily since Seinfeld, I find it a little funny. By the time every single goddamn person on the dais repeats it with little/no variation, it makes me want to fill up my ear canals with a calking gun.

Until they can find someone funnier than fucking Lisa Lampanelli, Comedy Central needs to stop airing these fucking things. Let them stay inside the Friar's Club like Alan King's moldering corpse. If I want to hear two hours of people giggling about butt sex, I'll hang out with junior high students.

The Comedy Central mode of Roasting does seem to be more about getting certain comedians more time on screen than necessarily roasting the hell out of the guest of honor.
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