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Monday, August 28, 2006


Hairshirt Emmy Recap

Well, Emmy time has once again come and gone and if, like me, you sat down last night and watched the Show of Shows, you've probably reached the same conclusion that I have: The Emmys are the most socially relevant program going. What happened on that stage last night has such an amazing impact on the world we live in. So it would truly be remiss of me not to go into some detail about the ceremony itself.

The program started off with a little filmed bit starring host Conan O'Brien. Now, I'm not normally a fan of this guy, as he's one of those "funny" late-night hosts. Fortunately, last night he didn't appear to be trying too hard to be funny at all. In fact, after the film segment, he launched into a song and dance number from The Music Man. I thought, "Wow! This guy has his finger on the pulse of America's youth! The kids like nothing better than show tunes!"

Some of the first awards handed out were for Supportive Acting in a Comedy. The Emmy voters, in a stunning move, gave the award to Megan Mullally of Will & Grace. What a bold choice! Giving the award to someone who's won it seventeen times was the last thing anyone would've expected. Bravo, Academy! Then they handed one to Jeremy Piven for his work on some HBO program. I'll be honest, I had to look up who the hell this guy was. All I know is that he was wearing a cravat, and I'm all for anybody who does that.

They sort of pissed around for awhile after that, giving awards to people I neither knew nor cared to know. Finally, they came to the award for Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program. I'll be honest, I had little hope that the Emmy voters would have the guts to make the right call in this category. They had one superstar going up against a bunch of snarky late-night hosts. David Letterman? Jon Stewart? You call these guys talented? I sure don't. You know who I do call talented? The gentleman that beat both of them. That would be one Mr. Barry Manilow. That's right. The guy who had his best days a couple of decades ago was recognized, not based on "popularity" or "being even mildly relevant", but because the man's got more talent in his pinky than Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien have in their large intestines.

Then there were a bunch more awards, some of which I cared about (it's so fantastic that a guy can win an award for directing an awards show) and some of which I didn't (who the hell is this "Helen Mirren" person anyway?) and a whole lot more of the good stuff, by which I mean the snappy patter between the celebrities presenting the awards. I don't know who writes that stuff, but he deserves a raise.

The highlight of the evening, for me, had to be the tail end of the Salute to Aaron Spelling. I've been waiting nearly thirty years for a reunion of the original Charlie's Angels and, let me tell you, it did not disappoint. These ladies were just oozing class out of every hole. My wife seemed to think they looked like they'd all had some work done, but I beg to differ. Farah Fawcett? Why, there's no more natural beauty on the planet. Kate Jackson's skin looked so stretched-out like that because of daily application of Oil of Olay. Let the doubters squawk about how unnatural it is for a 58-year-old woman to have absolutely no wrinkles. I think she looked as fresh as a rose, especially if it's one of those roses you get in the drug store. Hearing her go on and on and on about Aaron Spelling's genius more than convinced me. Anybody who can have the foresight to find a major star like Lauren Tewes must have the Touch of God.

I had a few issues with the later awards (where was the love for Two-and-a-Half Men?) but, for the most part, this year's Emmys were everything I've come to expect. Bravo, Academy! Bravo!

Jeremy Piven's show is Entourage, which I had never heard of either until someone just recently loaned me seasons one and two on DVD (since I am too po' to have HBO).

And thank GOD they did, because otherwise the next time someone comes up to me and says, "Hug it out, bitch," not only would I completely not get the joke, but I would probably also slap them.

Rent the DVDs. Worth it!
Actually, ESG, I'm a big fan of the show. I just watched the season finale last night.

See, this whole post employs a little something I like to call "irony". It's a technique in which the writer/speaker is actually saying the opposite of what he means and it's sometimes used for comedic effect. It's really a hoot. (I'd include a "winky" emoticon here to let you know that I'm only teasing you, but I fucking hate those, so I'll go with a parenthetical.)
Ooooooh... irony

I think I've heard of that...

(Sorry. It's Monday.)
Manilow = biggest Emmy embarrasment of all time.

And that Will & Grace chick and Monk guy beating Curb's Cheryl & Larry David?

::sigh:: I love Jon Stewart, but hasn't Bill Maher gotten snubbed enough?

Also, no nomination for the writing on "House"? WTF?
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