Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Now THAT'S a Terror Threat!

So, unless you're living in a cave (specifically a cave without a radio, television or DSL modem) you've heard about this morning's arrest of twenty-one people involved in a plot to use liquid explosives to blow up a number of planes flying from the U.K. to the U.S.

I've heard officials describing this plot as incredibly well-coordinated and "advanced". So that means that, if they hadn't been stopped, this horrific scheme would have been carried out in the near future, leaving hundreds dead and the British and American people once again fearing for our lives.

This is so much better than American authorities cracking down on a bunch of idiots thinking vaguely about taking out the Sears tower. I mean, this is a serious fucking threat, unlike most of the shit that Bush and Co. have used to crank up the Threat Level Colors over the past few years.

Which I'm sure they'll do now. They'll probably see a nice opportunity to scare the public afresh and try to convince people that only macho Republicans can stop shit like this from happening again.

I'd like the authorities to explore the possibility that this whole thing was cooked up by Johnson & Johnson or other manufacturers of toiletries. I mean, with airline passengers not allowed to carry any liquids/gels on the plane except medicine and baby formula, shampoo-makers stand to make a fucking fortune as travelers have to either buy new soap or spend their vacations stinking.

Scary, scary stuff. Almost as scary as the shitty TV movie that'll inevitably be made out of this.

I can see Vin Diesel now, tackling Fisher Stevens on the tarmac for busting out a bottle of Murphy's Oil Soap and Cool Mint Listerine
Bruce Willis used to be so hot. Wait, that was the point of this post, right?
Post a Comment

<< Home