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Monday, September 18, 2006

Papal Regrets

The Pope is pissing off people who practice Islam. Pope Benny gave a speech a while back in which he quoted a 14th-century scholar who was disparaging of the Prophet Muhammad. Muslims world-wide called him on it and, last week, the pontiff said that he was sorry...for the reaction to his words. Which is kind of like calling someone a douchebag and then saying that you're sorry that they're a douchebag.

So Muslims are still calling for a papal apology. The Pope doesn't seem about to budge.

But this week, he did issue a number of other apologies. The Holy Cheese said he was sorry:

For getting Lindsay Lohan so drunk she fell down and broke her wrist.
For calling Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo of Zambia a "punk-ass bitch" for his stance on marriage for priests. The Pope said he'd meant to call Archbishop Milingo a "chicken-shit punk-ass bitch".
For wiping a boog on the curtain at the Regensburg Holiday Inn during his recent visit to Germany.
For his ridiculous hat.
For joining the Hitler Youth as a teenager. The pontiff said the whole thing was a mistake and that he'd thought he was signing up for the Mickey Mouse Club.
For stiffing the waitress a tip while drinking at the Vatican City Hooters.
For the Inquisition. (It was actually a little unclear whether Benedict was talking about the Spanish Inquisition or that time last week when he wouldn't let Cardinal Angelo Saldono go to bed until he told him exactly where he'd been and why he was coming in at three in the morning.)
For being so unbelievably sexy.
For his coffee-breath.
For being a woman; a lonely woman who just wanted a man to love her, to touch her, to take her. It has been said that the Pope might have been quoting his favorite Italian soap-opera here, but that has been neither confirmed nor denied by Vatican spokesmen.

posted by Joe # 4:23 PM

Comments:

Yeah and maybe if the courageous Warriors For God In Islam kill a few more 65 year old nuns he'll really be sorry.

# posted by

RW : 9:35 PM

That first line reads like a tongue twister. Which is good because my tongue has been getting severely out of shape lately.

# posted by

Cindy-Lou : 5:29 PM

I don't know which of these is the funniest. Let it be noted that you were my first laugh of the day.

Do you hear hear that often?

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:37 PM

Monday, September 18, 2006

Papal Regrets

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		Monday, September 18, 2006 Papal Regrets The Pope is pissing off people who practice Islam. Pope Benny gave a speech a while back in which he quoted a 14th-century scholar who was disparaging of the Prophet Muhammad. Muslims world-wide called him on it and, last week, the pontiff said that he was sorry...for the reaction to his words. Which is kind of like calling someone a douchebag and then saying that you're sorry that they're a douchebag. So Muslims are still calling for a papal apology. The Pope doesn't seem about to budge. But this week, he did issue a number of other apologies. The Holy Cheese said he was sorry: For getting Lindsay Lohan so drunk she fell down and broke her wrist. For calling Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo of Zambia a "punk-ass bitch" for his stance on marriage for priests. The Pope said he'd meant to call Archbishop Milingo a "chicken-shit punk-ass bitch". For wiping a boog on the curtain at the Regensburg Holiday Inn during his recent visit to Germany. For his ridiculous hat. For joining the Hitler Youth as a teenager. The pontiff said the whole thing was a mistake and that he'd thought he was signing up for the Mickey Mouse Club. For stiffing the waitress a tip while drinking at the Vatican City Hooters. For the Inquisition. (It was actually a little unclear whether Benedict was talking about the Spanish Inquisition or that time last week when he wouldn't let Cardinal Angelo Saldono go to bed until he told him exactly where he'd been and why he was coming in at three in the morning.) For being so unbelievably sexy. For his coffee-breath. For being a woman; a lonely woman who just wanted a man to love her, to touch her, to take her. It has been said that the Pope might have been quoting his favorite Italian soap-opera here, but that has been neither confirmed nor denied by Vatican spokesmen. posted by Joe # 4:23 PM Comments: Yeah and maybe if the courageous Warriors For God In Islam kill a few more 65 year old nuns he'll really be sorry. # posted by RW : 9:35 PM That first line reads like a tongue twister. Which is good because my tongue has been getting severely out of shape lately. # posted by Cindy-Lou : 5:29 PM I don't know which of these is the funniest. Let it be noted that you were my first laugh of the day. Do you hear hear that often? # posted by Anonymous : 2:37 PM Post a Comment << Home		Links The Conversation Special Productions Izzle Pfaff Freida Bee Sometimes I Just Talk Alisa and the Stuff Alisa Does Tuna Girl Defective Yeti The Incurable Insomniac The Savvy, The Extreme and The Idealist Caballito del Diablo The Ambivalence of Open Spaces Bug-Eyed Blog Whiskeymarie Version 53 Things I've Noticed (S)wine: ShortLeanCuts Out of Tune Missives from the Beige Sister of Hairshirt Apostrophe Abuse Jonestown Tobacco Brunette The Public Intellectual That's Why Archives July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 March 2011 April 2011