Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Monday, October 30, 2006


My In-Depth Analysis of the Stem Cell Debate (I'm So Wise!)

I'm working on an idea for a screenplay in which Michael J. Fox and the ghost of Christopher Reeve team up to boil Rush Limbaugh in a vat of his own shit. I'm thinking of calling it This Would Be Really Fucking Cool.

It could never happen, though. First off, there's no vat big enough to fit Limbaugh's girth and/or over-inflated sense of self-worth. Second, Michael J. Fox just seems like too nice of a guy to ever seek that kind of awesome revenge.

He's always come across as this really genuinely likeable person. Now, he's stuck with this fucking horrible disease and he's using his celebrity to push for scientific research that could benefit all of mankind (whether it's going to yield any immediate results or might instead take a few years is, to me, irrelevant, although it seems to really piss off Kurt Warner for some reason) and, because it goes against the religious beliefs of a bunch of fundamentalist jaggoffs, it somehow makes Fox fair game for Jabba the Limbaugh to mock him.

Limbaugh deserves to get a really, really nasty case of crabs. (I'd wish him dead or something, but that just seems like something he would do. So in the spirit of Marty McFly, I'll just wish the crotch-crawlers on him. The fat fuck.)