Every once in awhile, I have a bunch of stuff floating around in my brain juice that doesn't, taken individually, merit even a lowly blog post. So I'm taking a moment today to address a few of these things.
First, I'm so goddamn wishing I didn't live in a media market in which there's a hotly contested Senate race. If I hear one more word about how crooked Bob Menendez is or how much Tom Keane, Jr. loves to lick George Bush's nuts, I swear to God I'm going to puke in a bag and mail half of it to each of them. November seventh can not fucking come fast enough for me.
Yesterday, I saw the most Pimptastic outfit ever. This dude was wearing, I swear, red leather pants with red fur down the sides, a shaggy red fur coat and a red leather hat. Plus big ol' sunglasses. My god in heaven. If I ever needed a prostitute, this is the guy I'd see, 'cause he look like he knew his way around a sexually exploitive employment situation.
My wife has been very nice about this year's World Series. She's encouraged me to go out and watch it and has even been awesome about its appearance on our own television. So, the other night, I sat and watched Game Three, long after I'd decided that I no longer wanted to watch. The game was not all that exciting to me, and it was made all the worse by FOX's craptacular broadcast, but I couldn't just throw away my wife's sacrifice. So I sat through it. Until the Roaming Retard with the toupee-looking hair who regularly popped up all around the ballpark did a segment in the outfield, promoting Taco Bell's promise to give free tacos to everyone in the country if there was a home run during a mid-game stretch. The hair-do turned to a kid in the bleachers and said, "You're here for the free tacos, right?" The kid looked at him and said, "I'm here 'cause it's the World Series." I think maybe the Announcer Man had a gun on him, because the kid hastily added, "Oh, yeah, but a free taco would be great, too." My God, FOX is smooth.