As it seems is the case every year, I'm once again scrambling to put together a costume for Halloween. It's really an Erma Bombeck-esque tale of domestic hilarity how hapless I am in the costume-putting-together department. I'll tell you about it sometime and we'll all have a warm chuckle over some cocoa.
Anyway, I've narrowed it down to a list of finalists and I'm looking for some feedback.
Monica Lewinsky in the soiled blue dress--I figure some time has passed, so there aren't gonna be a hundred other folks in the same outfit. Plus, it's still hilarious, when you think about it. I know there are some Republicans who have to be feeling pretty nostalgic right now for a time when they were going after a powerful Democrat.
Tender Heart Bear--Always my favorite of the Care Bears.
Drunk and Horny Ann Coulter--This is the scariest costume I could think of.
The "Two A-Holes" from SNL (Couples outfit with wife)--I don't know about you, but I just can't get enough of this sketch. It's as funny the five hundredth time they do the exact same thing as it was the first.
Rush Limbaugh doing Michael J. Fox--I'll just quiver and shake all night. Hilarity guaranteed!
Giant Douchebag--Actually, this is the same as the Rush Limbaugh costume.
Senator George Allen--I figure I can just walk around with a toilet and keep flushing my career down it.
Aaron Sorkin--Another simple one. I'll just masturbate and then talk endlessly about how important it is.
Batman--It'd just be really cool to dress up like Batman.
A Unicef Box--People will put money in me all night.
Skippy the Vomiting Clown--Just me in a rainbow wig, but it gives me an excuse to get really hammered.
Guy Impaled on a Puppy--Not quite sure how to do this one, but it'd be horrifying, spectacular and adorable all at the same time.
Pumpkin Bread--A lot of people might not "get it", but, damn, I'd be tasty.
Well, I don't know what I'm going to be. I'll figure it out, though. And then I'll have the best damn Halloween ever. Even though I don't really care for the holiday.
As it seems is the case every year, I'm once again scrambling to put together a costume for Halloween. It's really an Erma Bombeck-esque tale of domestic hilarity how hapless I am in the costume-putting-together department. I'll tell you about it sometime and we'll all have a warm chuckle over some cocoa.
