HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Saturday, November 04, 2006Stupid Drunk
I did something last night I haven't done in a long, long time. I drank to excess.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was out with my friend Deni. We met at a bar on Amsterdam and got enthusiastic about a very tasty Oktoberfest brew they had on tap. Nothing bad there. I love beer. We chatted about it with a friendly bartender, who very kindly bought each of us a shot of Jagermeister. Which is where things went wrong. I'm not a big shot person. I like beer. Beer is delicious. On those occasions when I stray from beer, I tend to stick to vodka tonics. A nice, refreshing drink that doesn't smack you in the face with its booziness. But shots, I don't do a lot. The purpose of doing a shot is to get drunker quicker. You don't dump a quarter cup of alcohol rapidly down your throat to savor the taste. And I don't really enjoy being that drunk. So I generally avoid shots. But when a nice bartender is giving you a shot for free, and you've already had a few beers, the instinct for self-preservation gives way to slurry enthusiasm. I've got to say, I wasn't nuts about Jager. I drank it and thought, "Ugh. Licorice. This is the drink of choice for frat-holes everywhere?" Once I'd had the shot, the flood gates were open and I just kept going. So very, very not smart. I'd thought that I was beyond that sort of moronity (if I may coin a phrase). After my twenty-first birthday, which ended with me propped up in a living room chair covered in puke, I got a lot better about regulating myself. I learned the art of monitoring my intake and switching to water when I'd gone too far. And I've been pretty good about it for the last fifteen years or so. (With occasional lapses.) Last night, I was lurching. I was loud. I bumped into a former teaching colleague and I'm pretty sure I was annoying as hell. I don't remember the entirety of my trip home. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm so damn embarrassed by this. And now it's five o'clock and I've completely wasted my day off lying in bed, wishing I was dead, feeling like I was about to puke, not puking, etc. My lovely wife spent hours waiting for me to be able to go for a run, but there was no way. I really hate this. This is not something I will be doing ever again. From here on out, I'm sticking to LSD.
Comments:
Oh, Joe, you make me laugh!
And in the good way, I mean; not the snarkily superior "I'm so much better than your drunk ass" kind of a way. Deni = not the best influence. No offense, Deni, but I've seen you in action. And you + Deni + shots of Jager in teh Big Apple... trouble with a capital "T" waiting to happen. I'm kinda surprised it's taken this long. And now I'm off to finish off the bottle of Shiraz I opened last night. Can't let that bad boy go to waste... excellent word verification:owxyspz How your head feels feeling: Ow! Exy-spazz
My spelling makes it seem that I've already fucking drunk a bottle and a half, but I haven't... I SWEAR!
How your head's been feeling after last night's festivities was what I meant. There in THE Big Apple. Okay, now I slink off in shame... to become foul-mouthed drunken dangerslut (to steal from Badger).
Funny, all of my worst drunk experiences also seem to involve Jagermeister...
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Evil stuff... they should outlaw that and legalize LSD.
# posted by
 : 1:19 PM
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