Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Tuesday, February 27, 2007


James By God Cameron

That James Cameron just continues to impress, doesn't he?

Ten years ago, he helped us get Titanic. I mean, we'd heard about it before and felt sorry for the dead and blah blah blah, but we'd never really let it in. But Jimmy and his awesome computer-generated characters helped us understand the true meaning. For which we owe much thanks. So much. *sob* Hold on. Give me a minute to pull myself together here.

Anyway, now, James has moved beyond the realm of mere film-making. The dude has found Jesus. Not in the lame-ass evangelical way. He literally found him. You'd have thought that it would've been an archaeologist or a biblical scholar to track down the resting place of The Christ. But no. It was the guy who made True Lies.

And, yeah, you've got your doubters out there who are gonna sling their poo at this noble undertaking like some retarded monkey. There are all kinds of jealous bastards pointing out that the name Jesus was utterly common. And that most biblical scholars don't think that this particular place was where the J-Man's body actually rested. But those losers just wish their years of training and education would have made them equally skilled as the man who wrote Piranha II.

So I say, "Thanks Jim!" Thanks for giving us truly rad Schwarzenegger films and thanks for finding the Son of God. You rock!

With his track record, in about 10 years we should be hearing about James Cameron discovering Atlantis.
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