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Saturday, March 31, 2007


The Stamp Project

Most days, I think the Postal Service is a wonderful thing. Just think about it: I can take something and just drop it in a box near my house and a few days later, it winds up in the hands of somebody I know. That's pretty damn cool. And, yeah, I realize that they've got their share of problems; lost mail, slow delivery, a propensity for workplace violence. All in all, though, I'm very pro-postal.

I am extremely bothered, though, by the rate at which they've been increasing the price of first-class stamps. Buying one- or two-cent stamps and sticking them on there beside the real stamp just looks dumb. I always figure people see that and think, "Jesus, this cheap bastard can't bear to toss out a few bucks worth of stamps." I don't want to do it again.

The problem with that, though, is that I've got a whole assload of stamps in my desk drawer here. I've got forty-six $0.39 stamps and they're only good for another forty-three days. So I'm setting out on a bold initiative. I'm going to do my damnedest to get use all forty-six of these things before the price change hits on May 14th.

I'm going to send frivolous letters just for the hell of it. I'm going to send letters to people I haven't written to in years. I'm going to mail a picture of my balls to Karl Rove. I'm calling this The Stamp Project and I'll do my best to keep track of my progress.

So: Day 1, 46 stamps, no letters sent. And we're off.

I have a much better idea for your 39 cent stamps. Whip up a batch of cookies, package them up and put all those excess stamps on there and ship them off to your favorite father-inlaw.
Judy, I'm sad to say that my cookies have been labled a toxic substance and the Postal Service will not transport them.
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