HAIRSHIRT
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
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HAIRSHIRT Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery |
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Sunday, April 15, 2007News Flash II: The Quickening Hot on the heels of the earth-shattering "Wolfowitz Is a Douchebag" story which broke earlier in the week, now comes the mind-blowing revelation that abstinence-only sex education might not be a great idea!Holy shit! You mean to tell me that raging-hormone-filled teenagers might figure out the mystifying Penis+Vagina=Intercourse equation even when we don't have teachers telling them about it? Say it ain't so! Can it really be that the Bush Administration's claims that the same Just Say No campaign that worked so amazingly effectively against drugs would be the perfect way to curb teenage pregnancy and the spread of AIDS might not be true? Well color me shocked. I mean, it's just counter intuitive, isn't it? You'd naturally think that, if you tell kids to keep it in their pants instead of teaching them about the broad spectrum of human sexuality, along with the physical and emotional risks of sexual activity, they'd be able to keep their desires in check until safely ensconced in a traditional man/woman matrimonial arrangement, when they could have intercourse for the purpose of procreation. But apparently not. Go figure. Seriously, isn't it a whole lot better for teens to think of masturbation as something shameful that's going to damn their soul to hell instead of thinking of it as something natural that everyone does? Shouldn't we teach kids who think they might be gay that homosexuality is something to be suppressed or "cured" so that they can live miserable and self-loathing--albeit sanctified in the eyes of God--lives? I don't know about you, but I'd much rather my child wasn't exposed to information about condoms. Sure, the godless heathens will tell you that all that does is ensure that, when teens do become sexually active, they're less likely to know how to protect themselves, but you and I know that, as soon as you show 'em a rubber, they'll want to rush right out and use one. So I don't know where the liberal media got their information on this, but I can tell you right here and now that I think it's all a bunch of bull-droppings. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put on a dress and flog myself.
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