Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, May 24, 2007


Get Lost

Everyone has, once in awhile, one of those days that makes you want to drink. Beer, vodka, lye, you know what I mean. The last month or so of the school year is made up of basically nothing but those days. And then, today, I had what I seriously hope is the crescendo in my shit symphony. Students completely around the bend. Colleagues letting me down to the point where I wanted to drop-kick them. Plans gone just shamefully awry.

I won't go into any great detail, 'cause who really wants to read paragraphs upon paragraphs of a teacher whining about what crusty little jackholes seventh graders are? Not me.

Instead, I'm going to whine a little bit about last night's season finale of Lost.

Now, I'm a fan. I've stood by the show through The Rise of the Tailies and even, God help me, the Paolo and Niki debacle. I'm not so obsessive that I'll scour the internet reading up on every half-assed fanboy theory like some wives I might mention, but I'm a fan.

Last night left me a little meh. I guessed fairly early on that we were seeing Jack in a flashforward, mostly because I figured he had to be living in some horrifying futuristic society where craptastic beards like that are allowed to exist. And let me say that, while I don't mind the idea of flashforwards--because they've done about all they can do with Jack's past; I believe the herpes-ridden Bai Ling tattoo episode proved that--I'm not sure what the point is. Is this a Christmas Carol sort of future that our castaways can avoid by being nicer to Bob Cratchit? Or is this meant to give even more of a tragic feel to the time they spend on the idyllic, yet unbelievably hostile and dangerous, island?

I'm even more bothered by the introduction of yet more bad guys. The Dharma Initiative is a bunch of sinister scientists! No, wait, The Others are hyperintelligent savages who killed the Dharma folks. Beware! Okay, hold on. Many of the Others are just dandy, but now there's these fake-rescuey fuckers from the boat! Yaaaahh! Pick a goddamn bad guy, allright?

And I realize that we've got three more seasons to go, so they're not about to give away the motherload or anything, but would it kill 'em to answer one or two fucking questions before they dump twenty more in our lap?

Again, I'm a fan. I've enjoyed the last half of this season more than I've enjoyed the show for quite some time. But if you keep stringing us along without giving us even the teeniest little bit of closure on an item, we're going to kick sand in your face and walk on down the beach.

I smell spoilers...would love to read, but I haven't seen the last three eps...
Wait, this is a TV show you're talking about?
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