Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
Monday, May 28, 2007
Here's the Thing
Getting older is not all that bad. Sure, there's the grey chest hair and the increasing difficulty ridding oneself of that sad, sad layer of back fat. But there are pleasant things about the aging process, too.
One of said pleasant things is a greater understanding of who you are and acceptance of that person. My college years and early twenties were marked with a loathing of who I am and a desperate yearning to make myself more interesting. Which is why I went through a series of moronic and inorganic attempts to cultivate a "thing".
Because cool guys so often had a "thing", y'know? That guy carries his guitar everywhere and plays spontaneously. This guy has a deck of cards with him at all times and practices shuffling them when he's bored. The other guy dresses like Jimi Hendrix. That's their "thing".
But all of those cool guys had "things" that probably evolved over time and came from the depths of who they were. Their "thing" said something about their history and was as much part of them as their right hand.
Not fully grasping that these things can't be forced, I went through a series of ill-advised attempts to basically graft on a new right hand. From about age eighteen through about age twenty-three, I tried to make each of the following my "thing", to varying degrees of utter failure.
I know what you mean. My "thing" was being extremely intelligent, witty and attractive. I nearly died of exhaustion from getting laid so frequently, so I had to take up running to increase my stamina, which in turn made me even hotter, and so the cycle continues to this day.
OK, so my "thing" is actually pathological lying. Unless someone out there believes that a 6'2", 150 lb, big-nosed scarecrow was drowning in pussy? (Ladies, I'm 165 now!! *eyebrow raise*)
Girls had "things" too, though very often less obvious than a leather fedora.Post a Comment
We're stealthy like that...
I think my current "thing" is to be a tipsy, clumsy, social retard with a really nice purse and impeccable table manners.
O.k, I may be exaggerating about the table manners.
I eat with my fingers.
Works for me.