Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, May 10, 2007


Massive Self-Loathing Can Be Fun

Y'ever just really hate yourself? I do. There are days when I simply make me want to fucking puke. I'm at that point right now, in fact, which may have something to do with why I bring this subject up.

I'm a lump. I'm a big fucking useless lump and I'm just sitting here watching as my life pisses down the side of my leg 'cause I'm too fucking lazy to walk to the bathroom. Hell, I can't even come up with a better analogy for life than pissing myself. Sweet whistling Christ, I suck.

I yelled my fucking head off at my last class today. Granted, they were acting like a bunch of fucking pinheads and tossed a canoe-load of disrespect my way, but yelling does absolutely nothing except leave the teacher with a sore throat.

Another thing about me that utterly sucks ass is my incredible laziness. I'm home. I don't have any pressing appointments. I should be writing. But instead, I'm surfing a bunch of pointless websites that I've seen a million times and offer me nothing of any practical use.

I can't even be bothered to take care of the pathetic excuse for a body I have. I haven't run in days. I'm sitting here and I swear to fucking god I can hear the fat cells stacking up like an all-lipid version of Tetris. If my inability to get up off my fat ass and run every once in awhile weren't bad enough, I've got an ingrown goddamn toenail that's been getting gradually worse for the last two months and I can't be bothered to call a fucking podiatrist.

I can't even fucking stand to be around me.


Well, at least I'm not Paul Wolfowitz. That guy really sucks.

Hey man, you've got a job and a wife. And yeah, life sucks some if not most of the time, but you can string a sentence together. That's neat. Might not be useful, not in the long-run, perhaps. But hey. It's neat.
Wallow all you want, for now. Roll around in it, rub it in your armpits.
Treat it like a part-time job.

Make it a career and even your closest friends will start to plot your death.
At least that's what I've heard, not that I would know or anything.
Maybe you need sex.
I'm the same way at times. The more free time I have, the more of it I waste. Just remind yourself that it's OK to sit and do nothing once in a while and don't feel guilty about it. That way you won't be demoralized to not do anything when you're more ready.

I think the internet is just too damn addictive for all the information and entertainment that it provides. And then we write on the computer so the internet is only a click away.
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