Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Wednesday, June 27, 2007


The Hairshirt School's Out Today Horoscope

Aries: You're beautiful and smart and witty.

Taurus: Everybody loves being near you!

Gemini: Your career is about to take off.

Cancer: Love is just around the corner!

Leo: Spread the sunshine! Buy a puppy!

Virgo: Give a stranger a hug!

Libra: Don't forget to tip your waiters. Giving feels great!

Scorpio: Been wanting to buy a house? Go for it! Worry about where you're getting the money from later!

Sagittarius: Maybe other people see you as manic, but you and I know you're just full of zip!

Capricorn: Your shit smells like rose petals.

Aquarius: Even if you did strangle that cheerleader, you probably had a good reason for it.

Pisces: Yeah, you're still pretty much kind of a douche.

Good one, Joe! I love when you make me giggle.
Take off where?
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