Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Friday, June 22, 2007


A Mighty Poodle-Head

Y'know, this may, in very point of fact, be the greatest goddamn movie ever made and Angelina Jolie may win the Oscar, the Golden Globe and the Nobel fucking Peace Prize for it, but I can't go to see this thing because I can't look at her like this and not be completely and utterly distracted by the fact that she looks like she skinned a goddamn poodle and stapled the hide to her scalp.

I don't mean to be insensitive here, because I think Daniel Pearl's death was an abomination. Really, I do. And Marianne Pearl was, I'm sure, very courageous in the face of this horror and all. And Angelina Jolie is, I realize, using her star-power to get a project made that might otherwise have languished in development, as most people don't dig spending their summer movie bucks watching a dude get decapitated unless it's Bruce Willis doing the cutting while he smirks and says something like, "I really know how to get ahead" or something else equally pithy.

But did they have to go for verisimilitude in regards to Ms. Pearl's hair? Wouldn't the film have played just as well, the story been just as moving, if they'd gone with a hairstyle that more suited Ms. Jolie? Maybe something that still paid tribute to Ms. Pearl's Afro-Cuban heritage without making the viewer think that Ms. Jolie was paying homage to Samuel L. Jackson's look from Pulp Fiction?

Maybe I'll be to view and enjoy this film someday when it's released on DVD in a version for which they've digitally covered Ms. Jolie's hair with a sombrero.

I was thinking the same thing.
It's very distracting.
Somebody get me a brush and a blow dryer- stat.
I laughed out loud at this one.

Something not many can make me do.
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