Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Thursday, July 26, 2007


Brainless in Seattle

Maybe you've already read about this. Maybe not. I'll summarize: This dipshit was flying from Seattle to Memphis. Missed his flight.

Now, right off the bat, I've got no fucking sympathy for this prick. You miss your flight, it's your fault. It's not that hard to catch a flight. You simply get where you're supposed to be on time. Build in a little extra time for unforeseen delays. I have never in my life missed a flight. I've also had to spend an average of two extra hours sitting on my ass at the gate waiting for the plane to start boarding, but that's neither here nor there.

But this cheesedick didn't plan smartly. He missed his flight. Which is where normal people would maybe kick a chair, throw their luggage angrily to the floor or perhaps even skip right to the practical phase and begin making arrangements to get on the next possible flight.

Not our boy. No, he decides that the best course of action is to fake an act of terrorism, so he tells the airline officials that there's a bomb on board the plane. In our day and age, the airlines are required to take something like that seriously, even if the staff at the gate probably realize that the only real threat is that this guy's going to continue being an utter tool.

So they turn the plane around and bring it back to Sea-Tac so it can be checked for bombs. Meaning all the nice people who were just trying to get to Memphis--and who got to the fucking airport on time--had to cool their heels while the bomb-sniffing dogs and what-have-you did their thing.

Now, I'm not exactly sure what punishment has been meted out to this putz, but I'm going to go ahead and offer a suggestion: I think that the travelers whose trips he fucked up should each be allowed to kick him as hard as they want in the balls. And then I think the airline staff should each get to yank out one of his pubes with a pair of tweezers. I'm pretty sure he'd never pull shit like this again.

No, hadn't seen it, so thanks for pointing it out.

things are a mite strange down Seattle way...
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