Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
Friday, October 19, 2007
When my wife and I left the house this morning, I told her that I felt I'd kind of hit a nadir in my life this week. Then I confessed that I was confused as to whether the proper pronunciation of that word sounds like the failed Green Party presidential candidate for whom I voted in 2000 or if it's meant to rhyme with "gay beer". (I'm fairly sure it's the latter, but I wouldn't bet my pinkie toe on it.)
As evidence of this bottoming out, I presented my ongoing pain issues (about which I promise I'll write an update soon), my current problems at work and our infertility issues, which are heading toward a really shitty kind of three-year anniversary.
Oddly, I'm not depressed enough by any of this--or by the combination thereof--to start drinking heavily or seeking solace in Our Lord Jesus Christ. I'm not overly depressed, I'm just recognizing that I've got some craptacular things happening in my life right now.
Now, about eight-and-a-half hours later, I'm actually feeling a whole lot better. And it has to do with the reason I was with my wife at nine in the morning instead of standing in front of a roomful of kids, attempting to get them to improvise something more meaningful than a scene based on their love of the movie Saw III.
We had an appointment this morning with Reproductive Endocrinologist #3. For anyone not in the know, an R.E. is basically the doctor you go to when things ain't working out in the procreation department. They do blood tests; they do thorough scans of reproductive parts; they prescribe fertility drugs; they do in vitro and those sorts of things. We saw our first R.E. last summer.
R.E. #1 was a nice enough guy in a very fancy-looking Upper East Side office. In our initial consult, he focused a whole, whole lot on our family histories. He grilled us for, like, an hour and a half on all of our relatives dating back to roughly 1885. He seemed to know what he was talking about, even if he seemed, to me, to look like the type of guy you wouldn't be surprised to run into at a swinger's club. We didn't end up working with him long, though, as my wife was working out on Long Island at the time and needed someone closer to her job so she could keep appointments.
Which is how we found ourselves seeing R.E. #2. Also a very nice guy and, no doubt, a very effective R.E. for some patients. Not so much for us. He always seemed to have forgotten exactly who my wife was when she went in to see him. Understandable, given that he probably has a large list of patients, but not a character trait that leaves one to believe that he remembers every detail of your case and considers all of them when making his choices. Additionally, he seemed very cautious in his approach to our problems. There are some things that my wife wanted to pursue that he felt weren't guaranteed to work and, therefore, were best left alone.
Today, we had our first meeting with #3. This guy works at one of the Brand Name hospitals in town. He was on a Top Ten List my wife had read and he was recommended by a number of bloggers with problems similar to ours whose blogs my wife reads regularly.
It certainly seemed to us, on first impression, that he lives up to the hype. Personally, I was most impressed by the fact that he can write upside down. Let me say that again: This dude can write upside down! You're sitting across the desk from him, with a piece of paper in the middle, and he's writing things for you to read! It's like a fucking superpower!
It wasn't, though, solely this amazing chirographical skill that won our approval. My wife, you see, is a lawyer. Which means that she's got one of those minds that works really well. She likes to get as much information about a subject as she can and see things from every angle. Myself, I prefer the pamphlet version of things and get confused by medical words more complicated than "tummyache". R.E. #3 addressed a majority of my wife's concerns without her having to bring them up. He went through a list of avenues we might be considering in the near future that her previous R.E. had dismissed. Both of us left his office saying, "I like this guy" repeatedly.
So, while our apprehension about the future is far from laid to rest, I think both of us at least feel very good about the guy who's going to be helping us navigate our way through this maze that is infertility. And I'm feeling a bit further away from the bottom of the life-pit.