Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






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Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Peace in Our Time

So, in case you haven't heard, George W. Bush has solved the problems in the Middle East. Yay! Thanks, Dubya! Now the world can relax and have a beer together.

It seems to me that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is sort of the sports car and/or ill-advised ear-piercing of American presidencies. Once an administration reaches a certain age, it starts to feel a little useless. It starts looking around at what it's got going and realizes it needs some Zazz!

So the administration is sitting at the bar, tossing back a few and listening to a Lynrd Skynrd album it loved in high school and it starts thinking, "Hey! Y'know what I ought to do? I oughtta fuckin' force the Israelis and the Palestinians to fuckin' sign a lasting peace treaty. Chicks dig Nobel Prizes. That fuckin' pussy Gore has one. I want one, too."

The reasoning, I guess, is that Peace In The Middle East=Awesome Legacy. Posterity will overlook blowjobs and wars started under false pretenses if you can make the Holy Land eternally secure.

And I can understand the logic here, I guess. You gotta have a gigantic ego to be President. You get yourself elected President, you've probably got the kind of ego that believes it can solve in a few months a problem that goes back hundreds of years, to when a rabbi and an imam first flipped each other off in a Jerusalem goat cart traffic dispute.

Still, I'll wish George and Condi good luck on this. I don't think for a moment that this is going to work out, but I'd happily congratulate the administration if it did. You're still a shitty, shitty president, though.