Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery






This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


'Tis the What Now?

I love Christmas. Ask anybody who's known me for awhile and they'll tell you how enthusiastic I am about the holiday season. This year, though, for some reason, I've fallen way, way behind in my Yuletide preparations.

Maybe it's the herniated disc and accompanying physical therapy sessions. Maybe it's the preoccupation with our seemingly endless fertility issues. Maybe I've just turned into a lazy sack of assflakes in my old age. Whatever the reason, though, Christmas, she is slow a-comin' here in the Wack household.

I've pisses around and pissed around and just got a tree tonight. It's sitting there, looking green and smelling like a floor-cleaner or car-deoderizer, just waiting to be filled with heirlooms of Christmases past. But I have no intention of decorating it tonight. Nor, in all likelihood, tomorrow night. It's going to sit there naked for a good long while.

My wife and I spent a few weeks lazily vollying ideas for our home-made Christmas cards back and forth like the shuttlecock in a badminton game between two paraplegics. We ended up with the same result as last year; we're giving up and buying boxed cards from the store. (Lame!)

WARNING: IF YOU ARE MY MOTHER, YOU SHOULD SKIP THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH TO AVOID HAVING YOUR HEAD EXPLODE. I haven't bought even one Christmas gift yet. Nothing. I'm doing it all in the next thirteen days.

Or...I could always just turn my mistake into a triumph. I could skip this Christmas altogether and just start getting an early start for next year. That would be so very clever of me.

Of course, skipping the holiday every year would be a much better idea.
Post a Comment

<< Home