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Friday, January 18, 2008


Assorted Gripes

Just a few things that are pissing me off right now about which I thought I'd vent.
  • Unnecessary Apostrophes--So many of my students have the absolutely appalling habit of sticking an apostrophe in front of every single goddamn "s" that comes at the end of a word. These kids are in middle school. By now, they should be well aware of where these dot-n-dangles should/should not be placed. But I get papers all the time with sentences along the lines of, "He know's five way's to kill you with his fist's." This infuriate's me. And then, today, I'm trolling around Google News and I find the following headline from a site--apparently a news site run by my students--called "Actress Archives": "Lindsay Lohan Get's Deadly Serious About Sobriety." Somebody fucking got paid to write this article and nobody around them knows how to edit copy?
  • Ugly Betty--I was in the room last night while my wife was watching this show, which I don't think is the worst piece of shit on TV by any means (*cough-cough* The Hills *cough-cough*) but of which I would never have seen a microsecond if I was not married to someone in the show's target demographic. So, there's a scene where a character is getting artificially inseminated. And they've got her hooked up to some kind of monitor, on which we see what's supposed to be the egg receiving the sperm, after which said egg begins rapidly dividing. Now, I realize that this is simply a device to cue the audience into the fact that the insemination was successful. But it still pisses me off. Anyone who's ever tried to puzzle their way through what the fuck they're seeing on an ultrasound should know that there is no intra-uterine fucking microscope that can show you the moment of conception. I just found the whole scene a little insulting. And I can't, apparently, willingly suspend my disbelief.
  • Comanche Moon--I remember so very fondly the first time I watched Lonesome Dove. It had such an interesting story and such a strong cast, I loved every goddamn second of it. From the Mexican cook ringing the dinner bell, to the Irish kid covered in water moccasins to Tommy Lee Jones dragging Robert Duvall's corpse across the state of Texas, I was transfixed. I started watching Comanche Moon with the understanding that it probably couldn't live up to the original. And, wow, it really, really didn't. Which puzzled me. Another great cast. Written by the Academy Award-winning writers of Brokeback Mountain. Horses. And yet, for the most part, it sucked mule turds. Three actresses that I really like--Rachel Griffiths, Elizabeth Banks and Linda Cardellini--were given nothing to do except stand around in bad weaves and overact. Val Kilmer appeared to be doing one long master class on "Freaky Shit I Learned from Marlon Brando While Shooting Dr. Moreau." The one saving grace in this whole thing was Steve Zahn. I've always loved Steve Zahn in just about everything I've seen him in. (I usually pretend that Saving Silverman never happened.) But, in Comanche Moon, he did the greatest Robert Duvall impression you'll ever see. He really captured the character in a way that made you believe this was the same Augustus McRae. I enjoyed his performance so much, in fact, that it kind of makes up for all these other gripes.

You need to check out Apostrophe Abuse.Com
Awesome! Thanks, Steph! I've already added it to my blogroll! Such an honor for them!
My pet peeve is people who don't know the difference between their, there, and they're. Drives me insane.

Your so right, anonymous. And thank you, Joe. You're blog fuckin' rock's.

(I think now you'll surely hate me.)
then/than; it really isn't that hard.
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