Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Hurried Hairshirt Concise Horoscopes
Aries: Eat more fiber.
Taurus: Good news awaits. So does athlete's foot.
Gemini: Yes, he's cheating. No, it's not your mom.
Cancer: Red dress, pumps instead of mules.
Leo: Try mouthwash.
Virgo: It's under the couch.
Libra: Go ahead and lance it.
Scorpio: She had Herpes. Nice going.
Sagittarius: That wasn't beef.
Capricorn: You forgot to carry the four.
Aquarius: It's more than a simple rash.
Pisces: If it's past the expiration date, just throw it out.